


the adventures of tiny loki and thor (and friends)

by 100indecisions



Series: Loki fic [28]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: 2018 Women's March, Action Figures, Alaska, April Fools' Day, Bugs & Insects, California, Camping, Cats, Christmas, Coffee, Crossover, Dinosaurs, Dogs, Easter, F/M, Fanart, Father's Day, Fishing, Florida, Food, Fourth of July, Gaming, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Ireland, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Lots of Food, Minnesota, New York City, Nonsense, Norse Bro Feels, Pets, Photography, Pokemon GO - Freeform, Portals, Snarky Loki, So does Thor, Spiders, St. Patrick's Day, Star Wars Day, Tea, Thanksgiving, The Author Regrets Nothing, Travel, Valentine's Day, but I figure I should tag for it just in case, it's a fairly minor reference to a canonical event, ladies being awesome, sort of, this is mostly humor but it's me so lbr of course there will be some feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:56:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 255
Words: 17,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100indecisions/pseuds/100indecisions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For obvious reasons, I picked up a tiny Loki action figure from <i>Thor</i> a couple years ago; in January 2014, I came across a tiny Thor to keep him company. I immediately took a couple stupid pictures of them and then I just...kept doing that, with increasingly elaborate captions and situations, because I really enjoy my stupid pictures and other people have been enjoying them too. I picked up a couple more Lokis and some other MCU action figures too, and sometimes completely unrelated action figures join in (I add tags as they become relevant). The first 60ish chapters are reposts of existing pictures; now that I've got all of those up, I'm just updating when I actually post new photos. Suggestions/ideas are always welcome!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Early days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I posted a couple pictures to Instagram early on, but I had an older phone at the time and the camera was pretty crappy, so I didn't do much at that point.

The first thing I did with my boys was to recreate [this piece of fanart](http://kibbitzer.deviantart.com/art/Worthy-to-hold-Mjolnir-334278441), because I am a giant sap.

[ ](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/72377442516/for-reasons-i-dont-understand-the-half-price)

* * *

no brother I'm not letting you go

[ ](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/72719017043/no-brother-im-not-letting-you-go)


	2. Meet the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then I upgraded my phone and suddenly I could take decent pictures to post right to Instagram. An ENTIRE WORLD of stupid pictures opened up before me. Naturally, my first source of inspiration was my dog Scully.

"What manner of beast is this, brother?"

“I’ve no idea, but it does rather remind me of someone. Huge, blond, shaggy, overly gregarious, possessed of considerably more enthusiasm than intelligence…”

“Very funny, Loki.”

[(03.30.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/81214087007/what-manner-of-beast-is-this-brother-ive-no)


	3. NYC: leavin' on a jet plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went to New York City to visit [Jo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plenilune) and...yes. I took my boys with me and took a whole bunch of stupid pictures while I was there, starting in the airport.

"Quite a contraption. I suppose even Midgardians are capable of occasional ingenuity." 

"Occasional? They beat you." 

"Yes, THANK YOU for reminding me." 

"Any time."

[(04.06.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/81888097171/quite-a-contraption-i-suppose-even-midgardians)


	4. NYC: gluttony (fries)

"You know, I did say that even the Mighty Thor could not eat that entire basket of fried nonsense at once, but did you listen to me?"

“*pathetic groaning*”

 ”I would say ‘I told you so,’ but I think that would be a bit superfluous at this point.”

 ”You can say ‘I told you so’ as many times as you want if you only use your sorcery to make me feel better.”

 ”My dear brother, there is no magic to cure the effects of gluttony. Also, there is absolutely nothing you can do at the moment to prevent me from being exactly as smug as I please.”

[(04.08.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82127756127/you-know-i-did-say-that-even-the-mighty-thor)

 


	5. NYC: dance like nobody's going to step on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo and I went to an Eisley concert at the Bowery Ballroom, but the boys didn't really enjoy themselves.

"I thought you said your precious hammer could fly us upstairs where we could actually SEE THE STAGE. Or, really, ANYTHING AT ALL but dirty Midgardian shoes."

"Well…Mjolnir seems to be a bit underpowered at the moment…"

[(04.08.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82151299769/i-thought-you-said-your-precious-hammer-could-fly)


	6. NYC: gluttony pt. 2 (pizza)

"Shall I try to be the voice of reason again, or is that a lost cause?"

"I do what I want, Loki."

"That’s MY line."

[(04.09.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82213419366/shall-i-try-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-again-or)

 


	7. NYC: the truth is around here somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo has Mulder and Scully action figures. My next course of action was obvious. (Adding new character tags as it becomes relevant, but not new non-MCU fandom tags, because that could get kind of ridiculous.)

"Agents."

"…demigods."

(NOBODY is happy with this situation. But especially Thor and Loki, who are not supposed to be SHORT.)

[(04.11.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82382361304/agents-demigods-nobody-is-happy-with)


	8. NYC: mistakes were made

"For heaven’s sake, Thor…"  
  
"I’M A GOD. I CAN’T GET ZHRUNK ON MIDGRAD … MIDDARD … WINE. FROM HERE."  
  
"Well, clearly you can when you drink multiple bottles that are easily thrice your size, which you might have considered _before_ you tried to do so."  
  
"Y’r not my dad."  
  
"No, thank the Norns."

[(04.12.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82491501805/for-heavens-sake-thor-im-a-god-i-cant-get)


	9. NYC: riding the rails

"Are you certain we’re allowed up here, brother? It does not seem overly safe."

"I do what I want."

"…that doesn’t exactly answer my question."

"If you favor grace and balance over brute strength, then yes, it’s perfectly safe. But your skull seems to be singularly indestructible, so I wouldn’t worry."

[(04.13.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82592019404/are-you-certain-were-allowed-up-here-brother)

 


	10. NYC: real vampires don't sparkle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo and I watched _Only Lovers Left Alive_ during my visit because it wasn't coming to any theater near me. The boys came with, naturally.

"Odd. He looks rather like you, wouldn’t you say?"

"I see very little resemblance. He has terrible hair."

"…there is no good way for me to respond to that, is there?"

[(04.15.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82791828050/odd-he-looks-rather-like-you-wouldnt-you)

 


	11. NYC: say goodbye, kids

"Well, brother, did you like this new city of York?"

"It was tolerable. Even mildly intriguing at points, I suppose."

"It tends to be that way when you’re not actively trying to destroy it."

"That was _one time_."

[(04.15.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82792649676/well-brother-did-you-like-this-new-city-of)


	12. NYC: space Vikings get jet lag too

The boys are also back home and apparently they’re nearly as tired as I am

[(04.15.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/82848122730/the-boys-are-also-back-home-and-apparently-theyre)

 


	13. Easter: Hey peeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Easter is weird, lbr.

"How anyone can claim to comprehend Midgardian customs is utterly beyond me. I fail to see why you bother trying."

"I confess many of them confuse me as well—"

" _There's_ a shock."

"…but the beverage they call ‘coffee’ is quite good. Even you might like it."

"I highly doubt that."

[(04.20.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/83355249042/how-anyone-can-claim-to-comprehend-midgardian)


	14. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, action figure

"Why. The _Hel_. Is _he_ suddenly TALLER THAN WE ARE?"

"Wow, Rudolph, got your panties in a bunch or what? I’d almost think you were insecure without the height and the giant horns. And the scepter. And the army."

"I am still fully capable of hurting you—"

"Brother…"

"Whose side are _you_ on?"

"… _awkward_. I mean, judging by past events—"

"You are not helping, friend Stark."

[(04.22.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/83546099575/why-the-hel-is-he-suddenly-taller-than-we)


	15. Gluttony pt. 3 (Mongolian BBQ)

"For heaven’s sake, Thor, really?"

"SHUT UP, I CAN DO THIS"

[(04.26.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/83972885066/for-heavens-sake-thor-really-shut-up-i)


	16. That is not dead which can eternal lie, or be immortalized in cute plushie form

"So, you claim to be one of the Midgardians’ old gods? I find myself unimpressed."

"Thor, this is not one of your better ideas."

[(05.13.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/85636502107/so-you-claim-to-be-one-of-the-midgardians-old)


	17. Meet the family pt. 2

"Do you like this creature any better, brother?"

"Blue eyes, no discernible intelligence…I think not."

"…you are not as witty as you think you are."

#it's apparently impossible to get a representative picture of my cat #normally his pupils are big and he looks as dumb as he is

[(05.15.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/85839864082/do-you-like-this-creature-any-better-brother)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (My cat is _really_ dumb. Cute and sweet, but seriously, there is nothing in his head. His eyes are also a brighter blue in reality than they look here.)


	18. Friends of friends

(FEATURING: [Lyviel's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyviel) evil cat!)

“Ah, here is a beast that might actually reward my interest.”

"I am not sure it is inclined to be friendly, Loki."

"Yes, quite. In fact this creature seems to possess a rather intriguing capacity for chaos and caprice, which is precisely why it is interesting."

"You have always had a strange definition of ‘interesting.’"

[(05.16.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/85942326582/featuring-erlkonigstochters-evil-cat-ah)


	19. The Enrichment Center reminds you that Android Hell is a real place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now you're thinking with portals!

"I don’t hate you…"

"Well, that makes a refreshing change. Pity you seem only marginally sentient."

"I’m different."

"I rather doubt that."

[(05.22.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/86534558022/i-dont-hate-you-well-that-makes-a)

* * *

"Oi, mate, you mind putting me down? Not feeling totally, one hundred percent secure with your grip there. Or maybe hand me back to the big orange-and-white one, I would really appreciate that, cheers."

"…Loki, why is this strange ball speaking? And why does it speak so MUCH?"

"Oh that’s nice, ‘strange ball,’ I have a name too, you know! How’d you like it if I picked you up and started calling you a…weirdo cape person? Not so fun now, is it, when the boot’s on the other foot?"

[(05.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/87175303187/oi-mate-you-mind-putting-me-down-not-feeling)

* * *

"So that’s what it does…"

#pls forgive the terrible photoshopping #I have very little Photoshop experience and it shows

[(07.07.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/91078433302/so-thats-what-it-does)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thing I really, _really_ want: an MCU/Portal crossover fic where Loki faces off against GLaDOS. I mean really, can you imagine how glorious the snark would be? (...no. I don't want one where Loki _teams up_ with GLaDOS. That sort of thing is not my jam, which would be immediately obvious if I'd actually finished and posted any of my Loki WIPs already, which I have not.)


	20. Then again, I have no idea how big bilgesnipes are

"I could have killed those."

"No, Thor, you couldn’t have."

[(06.26.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/89983534622/i-could-have-killed-those-no-thor-you)

* * *

"This beast, then."

"Highly unlikely."

[(06.26.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/89999078152/this-beast-then-highly-unlikely)


	21. Gluttony pt. 4 (tea and honey)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taken at the Scottish Highland Games tea tent, which is not actually relevant but is maybe a little interesting.

"Thor, if you try to eat all that honey, I will not be responsible for anything that happens next."

"Well, if you try to drink all that tea, I’ll not be either."

[(06.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/90186846702/thor-if-you-try-to-eat-all-that-honey-i-will)


	22. Gluttony pt. 5 (ice cream)

"Surely, brother, you do not think to eat that, after all the times you have told me—"

"This is different. It’s a frozen treat they call ‘ice cream.’"

"And…?"

"And I’m a Frost Giant, Thor, must I really spell it out for you?"

"You can eat vast amounts of ‘ice cream’ because you are Jotun?"

"If I must be a monster, at least that should be good for something."

[(07.02.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/90638122972/surely-brother-you-do-not-think-to-eat-that)

 


	23. How to train your Norse bros

"When you asked if I wanted to meet a dragon, Thor, I confess this was not what I had in mind."

"He is very friendly and appealing, though."

"Yes, because those are the most important qualities one looks for when searching for a dragon."

[(07.05.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/90914923252/when-you-asked-if-i-wanted-to-meet-a-dragon)


	24. Loki knows all about tangled webs anyway

"Now here is a beast that might actually be worth my time."

"…you must be joking. It’s barely as big as you are, and look what it’s guarding."

"Those are called ‘books,’ Thor. I realize you’ve probably never opened one, but surely you must know what they look like."

"You are still not funny."

[(07.30.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/93381863047/now-here-is-a-beast-that-might-actually-be-worth)

 


	25. Valentine's Day: might also be some jealousy involved

"Are the trappings of literally _every_ human holiday so garish?"

"I think it’s all rather cheerful, really—"

"Yes, I am sure you do."

"—but I suppose you would be well acquainted with garishness, given that your helmet sports giant horns."

"…that's _completely different_."

[(02.14.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/111040439522/are-the-trappings-of-literally-every-human)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except for the mug, this stuff isn't actually that bad. If I'd been more on top of things and remembered to take a picture before the actual day when nearly everything was sold out, I probably could've found something much worse. Ah well.


	26. Not much like Kevin Bacon at all really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Came across a really nice Gamora action figure at Target and had to buy her. Of course, since she's a 6" figure, she's almost twice as tall as Thor and Loki.

"Well, aren’t you boys cute."

“OH, COME ON!”

[(09.13.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/97442840837/well-arent-you-boys-cute-oh-come-on)

* * *

"...sister?"

[(09.01.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/96393869272/sister)

* * *

"…something is definitely wrong here."

[(10.19.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/100473186537/something-is-definitely-wrong-here)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already had the Amy Pond and Uhura figures, so those setups presented themselves immediately. When I posted the Amy/Nebula one on Facebook, a friend commented, "It's...not entirely impossible that some really bad things might have happened to Amy after 'The Angels Take Manhattan,' culminating in being reduced to a brainwashed cyborg assassin." And then I was sad.


	27. D&D, or maybe Bifrosts & Bilgesnipes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I play D&D and the boys join me.

"So…the monsters we are meant to battle are…completely imaginary."

“Apparently so.”

“…then what is the _point_?”

“Well, Thor, I realize this may be a difficult concept for you to grasp, but some people actually find value in exercises of strategy and intelligence.”

[(09.05.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/96758024437/so-the-monsters-we-are-meant-to-battle)


	28. A tiny BAMF is still a BAMF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another new addition.

A new friend showed up to see the boys :D (well, Thor’s happy to see her; it’s honestly hard to tell with Loki)

[(09.18.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/97872300777/a-new-friend-showed-up-to-see-the-boys-d-well)

* * *

"Size is no measure of a warrior’s skill and ferocity. I am honored to meet you, Lady Sif."

"And I you."

[(10.02.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/99037208107/size-is-no-measure-of-a-warriors-skill-and)


	29. Gluttony pt. 6 (caramel)

"Thor, honestly, you’re worse than Volstagg sometimes."

“And I say you are simply jealous that you are too fastidious to join me. This ‘caramel’ is sticky but delicious.”

[(09.27.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/98594876277/thor-honestly-youre-worse-than-volstagg)


	30. Halloween: fire burn and bobbleheads bobble

"No, Thor, this is not an appropriate cauldron for _anything_."

"It is an ideal size for your use—"

"Yes, and it has holes carved in it to shape a _face_ , because it is a childish attempt by Midgardians to celebrate something they do not understand. Perhaps the equally childish _other_ Loki will find a use for it."

"What other…oh."

"You did not _notice_?"

"To be fair, Loki, it is not so unusual to see more than one copy of you in the same place."

[(09.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/98676591082/no-thor-this-is-not-an-appropriate-cauldron-for)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't Bobblehead Loki just THE CUTEST THING


	31. Ain't enough room on this desk for the three of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another new arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a really nice, detailed action figure...and he's expensive because for some reason, this line of 6" Avengers figures was a Walmart exclusive, and then nobody made a Loki of a similar size for _Thor: The Dark World_ (Thor, yes, but I can't get him to match Loki, because that Thor is 7"). But I had to have him anyway.

"Well, this is awkward."

[(09.29.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/98769859717/well-this-is-awkward)


	32. Like a black widow, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And another new arrival!

At some point Bigger But Still Pretty Tiny Thor will have to join the crew, but until then I think Gamora and her new best friend will have no problem keeping Bigger But Still Pretty Tiny Loki in line.

[(10.21.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/100651184367/at-some-point-bigger-but-still-pretty-tiny-thor)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: the biggest thing I'm looking forward to with _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ is the pretty high chance that a new 6" Thor will be released in the Marvel Legends line, and then I'll be able to pick up a Thor to match these three without dropping, like, $60 on a pointlessly limited-edition Walmart action figure.


	33. The resemblance is uncanny

"Oh ho look at me, I’m Loki, I look like a goat and I want to make everyone kneeeeeel"

"You look ridiculous, you’re not funny or clever, and that’s not even mine."

[(10.22.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/100697843132/oh-ho-look-at-me-im-loki-i-look-like-a-goat)

 


	34. Unpleasant discoveries during post-credits scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki watched Cap 2. This wasn't the best idea.

**"IS THAT MY SCEPTER"**

#well sweetie if you hadn't left it behind on Stark Tower like a dumbass #von strucker wouldn't have it now [  
](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/tagged/captain-america%3A-the-winter-soldier-spoilers)

[(10.30.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/101376377902/is-that-my-scepter)


	35. D&D pt. 2

I’m playing a D&D campaign with friends and I’m literally roleplaying as teenage (or local equivalent) Loki. He’s not very impressed by the figure I’m having to use to represent him.

[(11.03.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/101732467957/im-playing-a-d-d-campaign-with-friends-and-im)


	36. Babies taste best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other things the boys shouldn't have watched: Snowpiercer.

"You keep the oddest company, brother. Did you know the good Captain once resorted to cannibalism?"

“I…did not know that, no.”

[(11.08.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/102155873082/you-keep-the-oddest-company-brother-did-you)


	37. Hot chicks with superpowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a bunch of action figures, actually, and I've had most of these for a while. With the addition of Chell, Gamora, Natasha, and Sif, I figured all my awesome ladies really needed to hang out.

"I hereby call this meeting of Hot Chicks With Superpowers to order."

"I…don’t think most of us HAVE superpowers…"

"The non-Earthlings are at least as superpowered as I am, but okay, fair, maybe Hot Chicks Who Kick Ass—Sif, you got a question?"

"Why are you referring to us as young birds?"

"…okay, first order of business: crash course in modern pop culture and slang."

[(11.11.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/102396990602/i-hereby-call-this-meeting-of-hot-chicks-with)


	38. Ethics in using multiple versions of yourself to cheat at games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm overly pleased with myself for this chapter title; why do you ask?

"That’s cheating, brother!"

"…you say that as if you’re surprised. Honestly, Thor, have you ever known me _not_ to cheat?"

#Thor you dingus you're gonna break the controller if you leave Mjolnir there

[(11.23.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/103395022632/thats-cheating-brother-you-say-that-as-if)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Super secret behind-the-scenes info: the PS3 wasn't even on for this picture. I _was_ playing a game on the big screen, but I was actually playing Star Wars: The Old Republic through a PC hooked up to the TV.
> 
> 2\. This is a good example of why this bigger Loki figure is so nice--check out the detail in the design on the back of his coat. It's covered by a removable cloak, too, so you can't even necessarily see it all the time.


	39. Thanksgiving: a nice serving of Norse bro feels

"I am thankful for YOU, brother!"

"Get off me, you sentimental oaf, you’re drunk."

"No ‘m not. I love you."

"Oh, you are _very_ drunk. Let’s get you to bed before you embarrass yourself further."

"I love you, brother!"

"Yes, well…given that you are highly unlikely to remember this in the morning, I suppose I don’t actually hate you that terribly either."

[(11.27.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/103767939512/i-am-thankful-for-you-brother-get-off-me)

 


	40. Gluttony pt. 7 (various desserts)

"Thor. No."

"Thor YES."

[(12.13.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/105153508802/thor-no-thor-yes)


	41. Christmas: Loki might like (parts of) Festivus better

"We should get one of these! It’s quite festive, isn’t it?"

"Hm. I was thinking ‘impressively garish.’"

"You think everything the mortals make is garish."

"Am I _wrong_?"

"…that is not the point!"

"I will take that as your agreement, then."

[(12.15.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/105280071342/we-should-get-one-of-these-its-quite-festive)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that's my face in the reflection; I didn't realize it was showing up until I was posting the picture.


	42. Christmas: somebody's not very merry

"Someone is going to burn for this."

"Oh come on, Rudolph, would it kill you to get into the Christmas spirit a little bit?"

"No, but it might kill you, Stark."

"…point taken."

[(12.25.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106177800877/someone-is-going-to-burn-for-this-oh-come)


	43. Christmas: potentially dangerous gift exchanges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Came across an Aveline de Grandpré action figure at Target and even though at that point I didn't even own her game (I do now, but I haven't played it yet...just like, uh, nearly all the other games in my Steam library), I just had to bring her home with me because she looks so badass and I wouldn't mind putting my money toward the one major female assassin in this dumb franchise.

Ain’t no Christmas party like an assassin Christmas party ‘cause at an assassin Christmas party all the presents are weapons

[(12.24.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106114607032/aint-no-christmas-party-like-an-assassin)

* * *

Results of the assassin gift exchange: Natasha gets some guns that aren’t part of their holsters, Gamora gets a sword that doesn’t immediately fall out of her hand like the one that came with her (and a gun), and Aveline gets to try a modern handgun (and a sword).

[(12.26.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106292243477/results-of-the-assassin-gift-exchange-natasha)

* * *

"Thank you for the gift, brother!"

"Thor, I’d advise care in opening that, in case a certain silver-tongued snake has gifted you with an actual snake. Loki, if my gift is also a snake, I will hurt you."

"Why Sif, how suspicious you are. Neither gift is a snake."

"Is each package full of _multiple_ snakes?"

"Surely you wouldn’t expect me to tell you. Thor, this had better not be another of your hunting trophies."

[(12.25.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106193178527/thank-you-for-the-gift-brother-thor-id)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few years ago a former professor was moving and he gave me several tubs of Star Wars action figures, which of course included a whole bunch of weapons. Naturally, I raided this stash for my kids.


	44. Christmas: it does kind of look like a toilet brush or something

"Perhaps next year we could get one of these."

"Thor, it’s barely taller than you are. That’s pathetic."

[(12.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106400599242/perhaps-next-year-we-could-get-one-of-these)


	45. Christmas: mistakes were made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This image was created with a great little app called Pic Stitch--well, first I edited the photos with Snapseed (also a great free app) and then I used Pic Stitch to put them together like this.

"That went well."

"Yes, all right, if you’re quite finished saying ‘I told you this was a bad idea,’ would you give me a hand up?"

"I said nothing of the kind."

"Well, you’re thinking it hard enough that I can practically hear it."

#latergram (but not in a way that matters because we actually haven’t taken our tree down yet, oops)

[(01.16.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/108307051002/latergram-but-not-in-a-way-that-matters-because)


	46. Florida: everybody loves Starbucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shortly after Christmas, I went to Florida to visit my cousin. Obviously the boys came with on that trip too. (Sadly, at some point on this trip, Loki lost his one remaining knife. Sorry, bb.)

"With these additions, I suppose this particular mortal beverage is…acceptable."

"I knew you would find something to enjoy in the Midgardians’ holiday season, brother! Though I confess this ‘pumpkin spice’ is overly sweet for my tastes."

"Yes, I suppose you _would_ like your coffee as simple as you like everything else."

#Loki's practically a hipster anyway #of course he likes pumpkin spice lattes

[(12.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106449709622/with-these-additions-i-suppose-this-particular)


	47. Take Your Action Figure To Work Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only learned this was a thing after I'd already gotten to work, so my boys weren't with me and I couldn't do anything with them (although at least a couple of the chapters I've already posted were taken at work). I ended up taking a picture of my office buddies who always stay there with me, and then when I got home I took another one, which means technically the Loki one wasn't taken at work. But I _have_ done actual work on my home computer, including editing a lot like what I do in my job, so...close enough.

WE’RE HELPING 

[(03.06.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/112893847777/were-helping)

* * *

 

"Wrong. Wrong. Egregiously wrong. Norns, how do humans accomplish _anything_?"

[(03.06.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/112930437902/wrong-wrong-egregiously-wrong-norns-how-do)


	48. Florida: traveling inside a backpack probably isn't fun either

"I am beginning to understand why Stark is so proud of having his own form of conveyance, if the normal ways mortals travel are all so tiresome."

"Well, at least they do not rely only on horses anymore, although I admit I would be pleased to see them develop something a bit more akin to the Bifrost."

[(12.28.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106477503077/i-am-beginning-to-understand-why-stark-is-so)


	49. Florida: auld lang syne

"Happy new year, brother."

"I…oh, very well, you too. Graceless oaf."

[(12.31.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106763907592/happy-new-year-brother-i-oh-very-well-you)


	50. Florida: the deep blue sea, or something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the original posting dates, these were all taken on the same day. I had to entertain myself somehow when I was waiting for my cousin and dad to rent their gear at the dive shop and then go an actual shore dive, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point, taking these stupid pictures in public places is going to get me some uncomfortable questions instead of just weird looks. "No, uh, I'm not actually using this picnic table. I mean I was but...never mind. I'm done. I'll just go now."

"Look, brother, does this remind you of anything? Perhaps someone has recreated your room."

"…you are not funny."

[(01.01.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106817137772/look-brother-does-this-remind-you-of-anything)

* * *

"Thor, it’s clearly not going to work."

"SURRENDER IS NOT IN MY NATURE."

"And that’s wonderful for you, but even you should know a lost cause when you see one. None of this gear is ever going to fit."

[(01.01.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/106838474037/thor-its-clearly-not-going-to-work)

* * *

"No, Thor, that’s completely useless, if anything I need another shell rather than more seaweed. You didn’t pay _any_ attention to a single one of my spells during our entire millennium together, did you?"

"Well…"

"No. You did not. I wonder that you are so confident I can find a way to let us breathe underwater."

[(01.04.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107124831922/no-thor-thats-completely-useless-if-anything)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing in the first picture is an underwater camera housing, in case anyone's wondering. Also a reference to Loki's cell on the helicarrier in _The Avengers_ , but hopefully that was obvious.


	51. Florida: gluttony pt. 8 (seaweed. No, really)

"Try one of these, brother!"

"What is that, seaweed? I think not."

[(01.05.14)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107222583787/try-one-of-these-brother-what-is-that)


	52. Florida: I was outside Universal's Jurassic Park Discovery Center, okay

"Let us see what fearsome beasts await in this ‘jurassic’ jungle, brother!"

"Birds, possibly. I understand the real dinosaurs are already extinct, but the mortals like to pretend, for some reason."

"Well, that’s disappointing."

[(01.04.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107104049477/let-us-see-what-fearsome-beasts-await-in-this)


	53. Florida: the Marvel gift shop at Universal Studios is full of wonders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that's a mug of Thor's face. They also had Captain America, the Hulk, and I think a few others I can't remember now, but Thor was probably the best/worst.

"That is easily the tackiest thing I have ever beheld."

"You would not say so if one were available in the image of _your_ face."

"That would show marginally better taste on the part of the humans, but it would still be tacky."

[(01.04.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107118098217/that-is-easily-the-tackiest-thing-i-have-ever)

* * *

"Now _there_ is an accurate representation. Perhaps the mortals have a touch more sense than I estimated."

"…well, it doesn’t have a beard."

"Mm, no, and neither did you when you were younger and you climbed everything in the palace like a monkey. So, _very_ accurate."

[(01.04.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107171912397/now-there-is-an-accurate-representation-perhaps)


	54. Florida: getting sick on vacation is THE WORST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got sick the last few days of my trip and had to walk a mile to Walgreens in the heat to get cold medicine, which probably involved a good ten minutes in the cold-medicine aisle just staring at all the options wondering what I wanted to use. Obviously, _somebody_ needed to suffer with me.

Loki caught the same bug I did and he’s not happy about it, in part because now he can’t stop Thor from hovering.

[(01.06.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/107334114887/loki-caught-the-same-bug-i-did-and-hes-not-happy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only just now occurs to me that I should've given somebody a little scrap of Kleenex to hold. Look, I was sick and I wasn't thinking very clearly to begin with; I think I was doing well for making the Kleenex bed.


	55. Truth, justice, and American pie, or something

(In case anyone doubts my commitment to  ~~Sparkle Motion~~  this series of stupid photos, I took this today when it was like 5° F.)

"Where are you going with that?"

"Surely you noticed the recent snowfall."

"Yes, and…?"

"And I am going sledding."

"On Captain America’s shield."

"Yes. Please don’t try to make me believe you’re actually surprised."

"Well, no, not really."

[(01.25.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/109170009872/in-case-anyone-doubts-my-commitment-to-sparkle)


	56. The truth is probably not anywhere nearby

"This is what mortals imagine when they think of beings from other worlds? Heavens. I can scarcely believe they’ve managed to stay unsubjugated for so long."

"Yes, well…their ideas to tend to be rather strange on some points."

[(01.28.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/109417647347/this-is-what-mortals-imagine-when-they-think-of)


	57. Yes, this is an actual thing I actually bought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes. There is a horrible Loki mug. I was making a ThinkGeek order anyway and I decided I needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I took that picture of [the Thor mug at Universal Studios](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/7142432), I really didn't know one of Loki's face existed--they had a few others, Captain America, Spider-Man, Deadpool, maybe Iron Man, and I thought they were all pretty hilarious, but it didn't occur to me that there might be others. And then I was making a ThinkGeek order and my friend asked if I'd seen [this abomination](https://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1db0/). I hadn't. It was awful and terrible and I knew I had to have it. It's even worse in person and I'm in love with it. It's currently sitting on my desk and I snicker every time I look at it.

"…I have no words."

"Well, yes, it is rather … unsubtle."

"And incredibly GARISH AND TACKY."

"I did say a mug like this in the image of my face would be just as tacky as the one of you."

"At least you admit it."

"Mmhm. I still want one."

[(02.17.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/111350180412/i-have-no-words-well-yes-it-is-rather)


	58. very thunder. much worthy. wow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU KNOW you can actually buy a 3D-printed little Thorgi figure? [Because you totally can.](http://www.shapeways.com/product/W2KNJBMAZ/thorgi)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realize the classic doge is not a Corgi. Just go with it, okay?

"…what is THAT."

"Now, brother, is that any way to greet such a noble beast? Come say hello."

"That is a dog wearing your armor. Why is a dog wearing your armor?"

"Why not? Certainly he seems worthy enough. Isn’t that right? Are you not the worthiest pup in the Nine Realms? Yes you are!"

"This is revolting."

"Aww, I think he likes you."

[(02.20.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/111591374082/what-is-that-now-brother-is-that-any-way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until today I think I'd only seen the original Thorgi photo and maybe one other. Turns out there is a WHOLE BUNCH of adorable Thorgi fanart and at least a couple different t-shirts. Seriously, image search "Thorgi," you won't be disappointed.


	59. HURR DURR IT'S THURR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point these stupid pictures are going to get me accused of shoplifting. "No, look, I wasn't putting your merchandise back in my purse, it was my own action figures...that I brought out because I was taking pictures of them with your merchandise...and then I post them online, see, here's the link, I promise I'm a harmless weirdo, not a thief!"

"I genuinely cannot tell whether that’s supposed to be a mouth or a mustache. Not a terribly attractive look for you either way, brother."

"It _looks_ like something you would draw on my face while I slept."

"Well, yes, it does, and yet … it isn’t. Rather makes one wonder what others see when they look at you, doesn’t it?"

[(03.02.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/112536495022/i-genuinely-cannot-tell-whether-thats-supposed)


	60. St. Patrick's Day: Gluttony pt. 9 (cupcakes); or, Don't Pinch Loki, Seriously, It's Not Worth It

"You cannot tell me _this_ confection is too large."

"Mmf. It is _almost_  a marginally appropriate size and that’s as far as I am willing to go. Also, thank you _very_  much for managing to shove it into my face."

"Er…at least now you are sporting a bit of green that will, if I understand the custom aright, ward off pinching?"

"One, that makes even less sense than other Migardian practices, and two, I am _already_  wearing green, you dolt."

[(03.17.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/113906533257/you-cannot-tell-me-this-confection-is-too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For what it's worth, I did not actually mean to shove Loki's face into the frosting, and it took me a second to realize I had, but at that point...well, hey, let's roll with it. (I can't say for sure whether Thor did it deliberately, although I'm pretty sure it was an accident on his part too.)


	61. Bigger Loki isn't going to be too happy with Thor either

"Yes of course it looks ridiculous, Thor, this helmet isn’t even _mine_ , and I cannot imagine why you think yourself clever for sticking it on me. Sif, whatever you’re thinking, I have no desire to hear it."

"Really? I was only going to say it suits you."

"…AS I SAID."

[(02.27.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/112300041212/yes-of-course-it-looks-ridiculous-this-helmet)

 


	62. Throwback Thorsday

“What is that hideous—wait, is that supposed to be _me_?”

"It would seem so, yes. His horns and colors are rather similar—"

"I do not look like that, I would not _dress_ like that, and if you have any opinions to the contrary, you will keep them to yourself."

#I have less than zero interest in Old Ugly Comics Loki tbh 

[(03.05.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/112851826607/what-is-that-hideous-wait-is-that-supposed-to-be)


	63. Poor East Coast keeps getting hammered in the not-fun way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see what I did there

"Oh, well _done_ , brother, I’m sure the mortals are deeply impressed by the results of your latest temper tantrum."

"And I think that once again you are simply jealous, this time that they admire me enough to name a fierce storm in my honor."

"Ah, no. No, I am not. Have you noticed how the humans have responded to this storm? Enough people curse my name already."

[(03.10.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/113311163962/oh-well-done-brother-im-sure-the-mortals-are)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've finally reached the end of my backlog! Aside from a few pictures I wanted to post on the relevant dates, all the preceding chapters have been reposts of photos I already posted elsewhere over the course of an entire year, and I was pretty much putting up one chapter every day because I had so many to get through. Now I'll only be adding pictures when I actually take and post new ones, so the posting frequency is going way down. Tiny Loki and Thor (and friends) will keep having adventures, though, so if you've enjoyed any of the previous pictures, please subscribe! Also, ideas and suggestions are more than welcome, although I can't promise they'll end up being used.


	64. zoom zoom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep coming across fun things when I'm shopping. (Also, I still haven't been accused of shoplifting in the course of taking these pictures, which is nice.)

"Really, brother, one might almost think you and your friends have forgotten which franchise you belong to."

"Which…?"

"The vehicles that turn into giant metal monsters? Surely you pay _some_ attention to the realm you claim to love."

"Well, I wouldn’t put it past Stark to make something like this a reality."

[(3.24.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/114521942597/really-brother-one-might-almost-think-you-and)

* * *

"Brother—come, look what I found—"

"What are you—oh, for heaven’s sake, I told you that isn’t me! STOP LAUGHING."

"I would not dream of laughing at such a … distinguished … what _is_ that anyway, a helmet tail?"

"Well, yours is just as bad."

"I am sorry, brother, but no, it really is not."

[(3.25.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/114603918087/brother-come-look-what-i-found-what-are)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really care about Hot Wheels and I don't care about Old Ugly Comics Loki, but I might end up going back for the Loki car and one of the Thor cars, because they're hilarious.


	65. Seeing double

"Your horns are the wrong color."

"Oh? At least I have them. And a cape. _And_ I am taller than you are. Thor, you do realize we can hear you when you sigh so loudly, yes?"

"I am not sure what other reaction you expect from me. I believe I’ve had nightmares that started rather like this."

(Uh, guess who I happened to find at the thrift store)

[(03.27.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/114768841427/your-horns-are-the-wrong-color-oh-at-least)


	66. Easter: an eggstraordinary eggstravaganza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...I'm really sorry about that title but like, what else was I supposed to do

"…something is very, very wrong with this egg."

"As I keep trying to tell you, Midgardians turn everything they touch into abominations, or at the very least objects of ridicule."

"Oh, actually, I believe the outer shell is made of chocolate. You like _that_ Midgardian creation, do you not?"

"…shut up."

[(03.26.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/114689435037/something-is-very-very-wrong-with-this-egg)

* * *

 

"Are these…dragon eggs?"

"On Midgard? I sincerely doubt it."

[(03.28.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/114881521002/are-these-dragon-eggs-on-midgard-i)

* * *

 

"Please, _please_ do not tell me you also find this bizarre creation ‘festive.’"

"Ah…no, that seems…rather unnatural."

[(03.30.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115060561907/please-please-do-not-tell-me-you-also-find-this)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hat tip to [Yornma](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yornma/pseuds/yornma) for the Cadbury egg suggestion!


	67. LOKI'D!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy April Fool's Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to put this up earlier today. It's still April 1 in my time zone, though, so...close enough.

"Good news, brother: I’ve found a Midgardian holiday I actually like."

"I am glad to hear it! Which one?"

"Today, of course. At least celebrating tricksters shows that humans have _some_  taste, although a single day all year balanced against a day for you every week still does not indicate a great deal of sense."

"…I see. Is that why Mjolnir looks like this today?"

"I am quite sure I don’t know what you mean."

[(04.01.15)](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115229784942/good-news-brother-ive-found-a-midgardian)


	68. An abundance of Thors

"You are _not_ bringing him home with you."

"I’m inclined to agree, actually. He looks…rather unfriendly."

"Also his biceps are bigger than even your head, let alone mine."

"Well, yes, there is that."

#whyyyyy is this the only 6-inch Thor that's readily available and not unreasonably expensive #why was the Avengers figure a Walmart exclusive that is now expensive (yes the 6-inch Loki was expensive for the same reason but I needed him okay) #why is the Age of Ultron figure only available as part of an Amazon-exclusive 5-pack that still isn't out #whyyyy #we've got nice 6-inch figures for all the main GotG people #pretty sure at least two readily available versions of Captain America #but not Thor #also since I'm whining about action figures #whyyyy didn't I buy the Play Arts FemShep when she was new and like $60 #now she's more like $200 :( #(BroShep is of course still a reasonable price)

([03.31.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115147121242/you-are-not-bringing-him-home-with-you-im))

* * *

"That is not even remotely a fair fight. Whatever happened to Asgardian honor?"

"I agree. I believe I’ll go recruit at least one other Thor."

"Oh, well, I am glad you’ve at least decided to be open about your bullying."

"I was only joking! And anyway, you both can use magic."

"That is only a reasonable advantage if all of you must share a single version of Mjolnir."

#Giant Thor has almost no joints so honestly I don't think Loki has much to worry about

([04.02.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115328008942/that-is-not-a-fair-fight-whatever-happened-to))

* * *

"Oh, I like _this_ size. Thor, if you are determined to bring in another duplicate of yourself, you may have this one."

"Now who is being unfair?"

"Not the God of Mischief, surely."

([04.03.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115402453442/oh-i-like-this-size-thor-if-you-are-determined))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't been accused of shoplifting or gotten any otherwise uncomfortable questions! However, uh, Giant Thor kind of fell on my head when I was putting him back and I yelped "dammit!" in front of a small child, so...not exactly my finest moment.


	69. Easter: gluttony pt. 10 (chocolate bunnies and jelly beans)

"That is unnatural. Truly, I have visited many realms and I have never met one with odder traditions than Midgard."

"Hmm, it appears these beasts are made of chocolate as well. Does that improve your opinion any?"

"…the chocolate is probably of low quality."

"Of course, brother."

([04.04.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115519532957/that-is-unnatural-truly-i-have-visited-many))

* * *

"Look, brother, some of these strange eggs are even in your color!"

"Yes, and I believe all of them are solid sugar, so—you know what, never mind, go right ahead. If you want to gorge yourself on bizarre Midgardian concoctions, be my guest."

"We’ll find you some good chocolate as well."

"SHUT UP."

([04.05.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115606238342/look-brother-some-of-these-strange-eggs-are))

 


	70. National (crying about tragic space) Siblings Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that I restrict my crying about tragic space siblings to National Siblings Day, but. You know. Also, I had no idea National Siblings Day was a thing until I saw people talking about it on Twitter, and then of course I had to do something for it.

“Apparently Midgardians celebrate siblings today for some inexplicable reason, so I thought I’d find some chocolate to mark the occasion.”

“I see only the wrappings.”

“I didn’t say any of it was for you.”

“…”

“Oh, Norns, don’t give me the sad-puppy look, there’s plenty more where that came from.”

([04.10.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116058424732/apparently-midgardians-celebrate-siblings-today))


	71. More new arrivals

I now have two full sets of tragic space siblings! Well, adorable bobblehead versions, anyway. I need a 6-inch Thor for my 6-inch Loki, and if a 6-inch Nebula for my 6-inch Gamora isn't released, I might actually try making one. 

([04.08.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115920036962/i-now-have-two-full-sets-of-tragic-space-siblings))

* * *

“So you’re an intergalactic bounty hunter? I think I’ve heard of you, actually.”

([04.09.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/115998652277/so-youre-an-intergalactic-bounty-hunter-i-think))

* * *

I stuck Samus in a mug temporarily and then noticed she was positioned like she was clawing her way back out

([04.09.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116005422732/i-stuck-samus-in-a-mug-temporarily-and-then))

* * *

 

Came across a cheap rhino toy at Target and thought “ha ha, I should take a picture of my Lokis with this in honor of [coneycat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Coneycat/pseuds/Coneycat)‘s great [Housemates](http://archiveofourown.org/series/14925) series,” and then “ha ha maybe I should actually buy it, it’s only a dollar” and then “…yeah why the hell not, actually”. Because Coneycat’s Housemates series is super great and her Loki is important to me. (My Lokis, however, are all very confused.)

([04.11.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116150592457/came-across-a-cheap-rhino-toy-at-target-and))

* * *

So I picked up yet another tiny Loki, right, and this one actually has a scepter and removable helmet, which is kind of fun, except in practice the helmet looks kind of dorky because this was a pretty cheap figure. BUT I’ve discovered that the helmet still fits if I put it on him BACKWARD, and now he looks REALLY SUPER dorky, and I am more amused by this than is logical.

#technically I'm pretty sure this is from the cartoon #but that Loki and therefore this Loki are pretty clearly modeled off MCU Loki #so it's close enough #at least I'm pretty sure? #I think this costume came first from the MCU and then was incorporated into the cartoon? #actually now I don't know #but whatever

([04.11.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116189317767/so-i-picked-up-yet-another-tiny-loki-right-and)) 


	72. In which Thor cheats by being Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _think_ I did this for National Arm Wrestling Day because I really doubt I thought of this on my own, but now I can find nothing to indicate that such a day exists. So... ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Ha! Beat you again!”

“You say that as if there was any doubt of the outcome. This ‘arm wrestling’ is even more asinine than most Midgardian social rituals.”

“You would not say so if you managed to win.”

“No, because then I would be defending myself against accusations of cheating.”

“…which would be _true_.”

“That is hardly the point. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could argue that _you_  are the dishonorable one for proposing a competition that relies purely on brute strength.”

#I mean Loki has a point #although according to the internet it's about technique and not just brute strength #but I didn't know that until five minutes ago so Loki didn't either

([04.16.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116591677797/ha-beat-you-again-you-say-that-as-if-there))


	73. The mighty Thor, slayer of trolls, giants, and...plants

“Refresh my memory, Thor: what is the one thing I asked you to do while I was away?”

“…not let your plant die?”

“Yes. Quite. Does this plant look alive to you--after, I might add, only _two days_?”

“Well, it still has _one_ green leaf…”

“Thank you. That’s astoundingly useful for the many potion recipes that require _fresh_ plants.”

([04.18.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116790029332/refresh-my-memory-thor-what-is-the-one-thing-i))


	74. Technically I could call this Iron Ballz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, because it's a Beanie Ballz Iron Man? Iron Ballz? Yeah, I'm sorry too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen a bunch of Beanie Ballz animals, but I think the only superhero I've seen is Iron Man. I really don't know what to think of that.

“…I have no words.”

“On your unkindest day, I think even you would not make Stark look like that.”

“Oh, for Stark I might make an exception—actually no, that’s absurd even for me.”

([04.19.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/116877343297/i-have-no-words-on-your-unkindest-day-i))


	75. Happy...Midgard Day?

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Midgard actually has a day to celebrate their pathetic excuse for a realm?”

“If I understand it correctly, I think the humans use it to remind themselves to take better care of their planet. Dr. Banner in particular seems quite dedicated.”

“They need a special day to remind themselves not to destroy their own home? That is even worse. You know, I could have protected the humans from their own foolishness--”

“Yes, yes, we know.”

“Well, I could hardly have been worse than what they have now.”

([04.22.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/117146752287/oh-for-heavens-sake-midgard-actually-has-a-day))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a reference to Mark Ruffalo's work campaigning against fracking, because apparently he's actually Bruce Banner.


	76. We're gonna need a bigger hammer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning up front: there is a LARGE INSECT in this picture, so if that's a thing that bothers you, well...now you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, content warning for insects. Fairly large ones. I honestly don't think the picture's that bad, but I definitely did get the willies trying (and, repeatedly, failing) to get this shot.

“This doesn’t seem like the wisest idea, Thor.”

“Oh come, they’re only insects. Surely you’re not afraid of insects?”

“Insects fully as long as I am tall do tend to give me pause, yes.”

“I believe they subsist solely on plants, so I am not terribly–-I CHANGED MY MIND, GET ME OUT”

“Oh well done, now you’ve lured it to me too. I think you’re on your own this time.”

([04.24.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/117255717762/this-doesnt-seem-like-the-wisest-idea-thor))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even remember where she got them, but my mom has stick bugs for her preschool class, so I figured...I had to do something like this. IT WAS A LOT HARDER TO SET UP THAN IT LOOKS. I mean, the first picture was easy, the second one was REALLY NOT because getting Thor to balance was tricky in the first place and then I had to pick up a giant bug and that made me really twitchy to begin with (plus I was trying not to hurt them, so when they latched on to sticks to keep from being picked up, it was hard to dislodge them carefully), and then the giant bug would unbalance Thor and they'd both fall. I uh, finally had to get my mom's help because for some reason these GIANT BUGS don't give _her_ the willies, and then of course the bug grabbed on to Loki too, which wasn't the plan, but at that point yeah I was not going to keep trying.


	77. Return of a not-so-great Old One

“…I think I preferred the [soft, cuddly-looking version](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/7046039).”

“Yes, I’m sure you would.”

“You disagree?”

“Thor, I always disagree with you. But no, actually, despite being smaller, this one is…rather more intimidating.”

(Guess what I found in the thrift store's toy section! WHY WOULD YOU PUT CTHULHU IN THE TOY SECTION. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S A REMOTELY GOOD IDEA. DO YOU REALLY WANT SOME LITTLE KID INNOCENTLY TAKING CTHULHU HOME?)

([04.26.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/117479933642/i-think-i-preferred-the-soft-cuddly-looking))


	78. National Superhero Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I'm continuing my tradition of not hearing about relevant days until the last minute and then scrambling to come up with something. It's cool though, for once I already had a picture that worked.

"That is not the best look for you, brother."

“At least the common people admire me enough to celebrate me and my deeds. Can you say the same?”

“Yes, actually, and I haven’t even had to declare a special day to do so. One might almost suspect that you and your fellow superheroes feel a bit insecure in your status, if you must regularly remind Midgard that you exist."

([04.28.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/117637446617/that-is-not-the-best-look-for-you-brother))


	79. Spring is in the air, after all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend on Facebook wanted a love interest for tiny Loki, I already had a tiny Sif, I don’t hardcore ship Loki with anybody (except the literal brotp of Thor & Loki gen) but I have a definite fondness for Sif/Loki as a pairing: clearly, it was meant to be.

“Midgardians are ridiculous. Can you imagine someone actually using a sauce packet to gauge interest in the possibility of paying court?”

“No, but responding in a similar fashion could be amusing.”

“…and what answer would you give, if I offered you this one in that context?”

“Truthfully? I might be inclined to go with this.”

“Hmm.”

“I deeply hope, however, that you didn’t get the idea to ask in the first place from one of these packets.”

#you can't really tell but one of the packets in the top picture says 'go ahead...ask her' #which Sif has definitely noticed

([04.30.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/117858014182/trevor-on-facebook-wanted-a-love-interest-for))


	80. Avengerception

“Oh…my.”

“Whatever you are thinking, I do not want to hear it.”

“Cheer up, brother, at least your compatriots look no more intimidating than you do. Mind you, I would not especially want to tangle with that Hulk either, but I suspect the most powerful weapon at its disposal would be bad breath.”

#ridiculous marvel merch: the gift that just keeps on giving

([05.03.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118047344567/oh-my-whatever-you-are-thinking-i-do-not))


	81. May the Force be with you (and also with you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years ago a professor was getting rid of a pretty massive collection of Star Wars action figures and thought I might want them. Yes, of course I did--mostly because I still have plans of customizing several of them, but still. Having a bunch of random Star Wars action figures came in handy for Star Wars Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would not believe how long this took to set up. Like, a lot longer than it looks. Also, I'm kind of laughing at myself now because pretty much all the recognizable characters ended up out of frame.

“Did we miss an announcement about some sort of gathering?”

“I’ve no idea, but I might have to appropriate one of these marvelous weapons.”

“I wonder if they would allow me to test this vehicle.”

“Knowing the way you fly anything larger than your precious hammer? I sincerely hope not.”

#Star Wars Day

([05.04.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118132767412/did-we-miss-an-announcement-about-some-sort-of))


	82. WHERE IS MY BLACK WIDOW MOVIE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's something rotten in the state of the MCU. Carol Danvers has opinions about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled we're going to get a Captain Marvel movie. (I'll be even more thrilled if Katee Sackhoff is actually cast, because _come on_.) It's just, you know, COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS that it's still like two years out and it'll be the very first MCU movie fronted by a female superhero, and also that we don't have a Black Widow movie.

"Not that I'm not thrilled to get my own movie and blaze that particular path, but you don't have one and you've been in how many so far?"

"Four. All of them otherwise about boys. What about you, Gamora?"

"Team movie, but really it was all about Peter Quill and his mommy issues. At least it was only the one so far."

"That's ridiculous. Will it help if I beat somebody up? Because I can absolutely help do that."

([05.05.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118220932902/not-that-im-not-thrilled-to-get-my-own-movie-and))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bought Captain Marvel at Target because she looked awesome and I was pretty sure I'd like her. And then I actually read one of her books. I'm good at doing things in a reasonable order. Yep. (For what it's worth, she's the first Marvel Legends figure I've picked up who _isn't_ from the movies, and she's...a lot less detailed? Except for the sash, her costume is literally just painted on instead of being molded, and whatever material they used for her face is weirdly shiny. Also, she only comes with two accessories for herself, one of which is a second head, and _three_ pieces for the Odin/King Thor build-a-figure. So generally just kind of weird, honestly.)


	83. No, really, you shouldn't have

“This is a dead weed.”

“If you wanted live flowers so badly, you should have been more precise.”

“I am never sure whether you are being deliberately obtuse or you simply lack the common sense possessed by the average bilgesnipe.”

“Well, if you don’t want that, I’ll happily take it back. I can always use more ingredients for poison.”

“…poison?”

“Mm. Works especially well for coating blades.”

“All right, _now_ you have my interest.”

#lbr sif would be more interested in potential weapons than flowers #Loki's not being a jerk he just knows her

([05.06.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118290788357/this-is-a-dead-weed-if-you-wanted-live))


	84. Throwback Thorsday (...Lokaday?) again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to pretend I deliberately posted this for TBT rather than coincidentally happening to put up this particular picture on a Thursday.

“SHUT UP.”

“I said nothing!”

“I CAN FEEL YOU SNICKERING AT ME.”

“Well, that is indeed an interesting new power.”

“SHUT. UP.”

#loki can dish it out but he can't take it #in fairness Old Loki looks a lot sillier and uglier than Old Thor does

([05.07.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118378911987/shut-up-i-said-nothing-i-can-feel-you))


	85. Squishy Man

“There is only one word in my mind right now and that word is WHY. Also possibly HOW.”

“Truthfully, brother, I stopped trying to understand Stark a long time ago.”

([05.08.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118463204767/there-is-only-one-word-in-my-mind-right-now-and))


	86. At least it's not a velociraptor

“What is that and why is it on my cape?”

“Be nice. His nest was destroyed and he was out in the cold alone. I had to get him warmed up.”

“But why did you have to use my cape??”

“Well, it’s not as if you were using it at the moment. You can have it back, if you’re so bothered.”

“Yes, thank you–-”

“Of course, you may want to have it thoroughly cleaned before you try to use it again. He was a bit stressed to begin with.”

“Damn it, Loki.”

([05.09.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118554592452/what-is-that-and-why-is-it-on-my-cape-be))

* * *

“Oh, get off there, you little nuisance.”

“I hope you realize that if that thing soils any of my belongings, I will hold you entirely to blame, and I am not as forgiving as your brother.”

“My lady, I would never dream of assuming otherwise.”

“Good. Now, have you named it yet?”

“…what?”

“It’s cute and you rescued it. You’re going to name it, yes?”

([05.09.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118576834917/oh-get-off-there-you-little-nuisance-i))

 


	87. Happy Allmother's Day

“…”

“We should probably…”

“You do it. You’re her favorite, she’ll be less angry at you.”

“After everything that’s happened, I highly doubt it.”

“Well, she won’t shout at you.”

“Are you confusing her with Odin? She almost never shouts at either of us, just looks disappointed.”

“Yes, and that’s even worse!”

(I was going to be mean and leave it as ’…’ which could mean any number of things because whatever the hell I’m doing isn’t at one real specific place in the MCU timeline and fridged people aren’t fridged if I say, which means ’…’ _could_ imply ‘WE WOULD BUT SHE’S DEAD’ or it could imply how I expanded on it. And then I decided I didn't want to imply that their mommy was dead, so.)

 ([05.10.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118629119217/we-should-probably-you-do-it-youre))


	88. Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is actually supposed to be some kind of weird little alien, but it _looks_ like a D &D Beholder.

“Loki, no.”

“I do want I want.”

#Loki likes weird pets okay

([05.14.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/118967979337/loki-no-i-do-want-i-want-see-the-whole))


	89. The couple that slays together stays together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This picture includes some toy tarantulas. They're not real, but they are big, so if spiders are an issue, here's your warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: GIANT SPIDERS. Fake ones, but just putting that out there in case.

“Let’s agree never to do anything like that again, shall we?”

“Oh, come, you didn’t enjoy even a little of that fight?”

“…I enjoyed watching _you_ fight…”

“As you should. You were not so bad yourself.”

“Yes, well, magic can be more impressive than some people like to think.”

([05.16.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/119140012832/lets-agree-never-to-do-anything-like-that-again))


	90. On a more serious note than usual...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter briefly discusses suicide, in the context of working to prevent it (and also, you know, a thing that happened in _Thor_ ). I don't think it's any more triggery than this warning, but I'm warning anyway, just in case.

I participated in [a fundraising walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention](http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donordrive.participant&participantID=752873) last weekend, and the boys came with me, because obviously. Thor, because of a certain personal experience on the Bifrost, is pretty dedicated to this particular cause, so he’s trying to wear honor beads representing that (blue) and his support for a loved one who struggles (teal). Loki will probably never admit it, but he’s a little touched. (Okay, a lot. Don’t tell.)

([05.21.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/119559169337/on-a-more-serious-note-than-usual-i-participated))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coincidentally, the other beads I wore--to represent my own struggle with depression and suicidal ideation, and which would therefore also be appropriate for Loki--are green. This actually did not occur to me until today, and that's just as well or I probably would've had Loki feels at the walk. More than my baseline level of Loki feels, I mean.


	91. Burdened with glorious cuteness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an actual t-shirt I got from [ShirtPunch](https://www.shirtpunch.com/) (they're a daily shirt site, so it's not available anymore, sadly). It's great.

“What. What is _that_.”

“Cheer up, brother, at least this design is slightly more accurate than others we’ve seen.”

“But it’s…it’s so… _cute_.”

“I did say it was a somewhat accurate representation.”

“I am not cute. I am deadly.”

“You are at least a little bit cute now and then. Certainly Sif seems to think so, which I don’t believe you mind.”

“…shut up.”

#nobody will get this reference but it's actually a Sith Inquisitor line in SWTOR #although actually a Facebook friend DID get the reference without me even saying it was there #so I'm impressed

([05.22.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/119631194237/what-what-is-that-cheer-up-brother-at))


	92. I can picture Loki, in an uncharitable moment, comparing Jane to Space Core

 

“Space. Wanna go to space. Yes please space. Go to space.”

“Well–-we could perhaps take you on the Bifrost, but I am not sure-–”

“SPAAAAAAAAACE”

“It wants to go to space, I say we send it to space. Surely your hammer can put it in orbit–-and, more importantly, far away from us.”

“Are we in space yet? What’s the holdup? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.”

PSA: do not look up a complete list of Space Core's quotes, because 1) "space" will very quickly stop looking like a word and 2) the things he says when he's actually in space are REALLY SAD.

([05.27.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/120050586052/space-wanna-go-to-space-yes-please-space-go-to))


	93. They didn't choose the pug life. Don't judge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring my younger sister’s pug salt-and-pepper shakers, but not willingly on her part, haha. (She thinks this series is dumb because, I don't know, it's not okay for adults to do silly geeky things or something? Maybe just adults she's related to. You have no idea how tempted I am to screencap every nice comment I get and send them to her.)

“So…these are figurines of dogs with human garments and strangely compressed faces, which are then mashing their faces together. And they are full of condiments.”

“That would appear to be the case, yes.”

“Remind me again why you even try to understand understand humans?”

“In fairness, brother, they are probably not the _most_ eccentric beings in the Nine Realms.”

“Not for lack of effort.”

“Well, no.”

([06.01.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/120465042362/so-these-are-figurines-of-dogs-with-human))


	94. National Hug Your Cat Day is apparently a thing

“Get–-get off, you overbearing oaf, are you drunk?”

“Must I be drunk to want to embrace my little brother?”

“No, but you typically are when you decide to act on the impulse-–or you have some other excuse. What is it this time?”

“It is one of those little Midgardian holidays. National…um.”

“National um.”

“It is…nationalhugyourcatday.”

“… _what_.”

“You like cats! You said, quite recently–-”

“That does not mean I want to be _compared to one_.”

“You must admit, brother, you can be rather cat-like at times.”

“I must admit no such thing.”

([06.04.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/120747264052/get-get-off-you-overbearing-oaf-are-you))


	95. Trust his tiny rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I got another Loki; I'm sure no one is shocked. (So far I have, uh. Nine different Loki figures. I should really take a picture of them all at some point.) This is Loki from _Thor: The Dark World_ , and he's surprisingly detailed, especially for a 3.75-inch figure.

“That is easily the worst excuse for a knife I have ever seen.”

“…well, it doesn’t always do that. And at least it actually looks like a proper dagger, unlike yours.”

#constant state of low-key rivalry between the various Lokis #except when they decide to team up #it's a weird situation #fun fact: both knives came with TDW Loki #original Tiny Loki had two identical knives but they were silver #and we managed to lose both of them

([06.04.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/120722479407/that-is-easily-the-worst-excuse-for-a-knife-i))


	96. This magic--I like it! Another!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serendipity is stumbling completely by accident across something that works GREAT for your dumb photo series.

“Brother, you should not meddle in such things, you know it is dangerous-–”

“Cease your fretting. I guarantee even you will enjoy this particular kind of dark magic.”

([06.08.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121045583122/brother-you-should-not-meddle-in-such-things))


	97. Up all night to get Loki

What do you suppose is the proper collective noun for a bunch of Lokis? A chaos of tricksters? I think we'll go with that. These are all the Loki figures I own (so far), all nine of them. I would say I have a problem except this is...not really a problem, or at least I refuse to consider it a problem. Funny story: not too long ago I actually thought I didn't want any more Loki figures because I was focused on getting Loki & Thor sets; I had the original tiny Loki and Thor, I had Funko Pop Loki and Thor, I was working on finding a 6-inch Thor for my 6-inch Loki; I figured I didn't actually need or want more. Well I lied, I was lying to myself, I came across an extra Loki at the thrift store and now I'm like "I need all the Lokis. All of them. _I need them._ "

([06.09.14](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121165364922/what-do-you-suppose-is-the-proper-collective-noun))

* * *

Bonus: this little cutie came in the mail a few days ago–-completely free (no shipping, even) with a code from a box of Pop Tarts, which means I got him for like $4 instead of the normal price of $10 to $12. I wouldn’t necessarily have picked him if I had more options besides him and Iron Man, but I do like Steve a lot, and it was a great deal.

([06.08.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121045345862/this-little-cutie-came-in-the-mail-a-few-days))


	98. There's no place like gnome

“Are these…misshapen dwarves? Commissioned by humans to ward off intruders from…their gardens?”

“…possibly?”

“Well, that’s an even more foolish idea than what appears to be typical for Midgardians–-and yet, I rather mislike the look of them. And their size.”

“They resemble Volstagg a bit.”

“Yes, well, perhaps that is why.”

([06.13.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121465186912/are-these-misshapen-dwarves-commissioned-by))


	99. It's not really a hot date without a sword fight

(At the local Renaissance Faire this weekend.)

“You know, I’ve realized you never take me anywhere nice.”

“Well, my lady, as you are not particularly nice yourself, the thought never entered my mind. Was there something specific you hoped to do?”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing. This is highly entertaining. For Midgard’s sake, however, I do hope this display does not represent the pinnacle of their fighting abilities.”

([06.15.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121621944307/at-the-local-renaissance-faire-yesterday))


	100. Who doesn't want a plushie Avenger, really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be real, if they had one of these for Loki, I would buy it. I'm not too proud to admit that.
> 
> Also, 100 chapters, holy crap. (The best/worst part is, I've taken more than 100 of these dumb pictures, because several chapters include more than one photo.) Thanks so much to everyone who's been enjoying this silly series with me!

“That is a marvelously cuddly look for you, brother. Not to mention a touch pretentious. ‘Soft sculpture’?”

“Yes, well … at least even in this plush form, I can still hold Mjolnir, which is _not_ something everyone can say.”

“Have you _looked_ at that hammer? I hardly think this one is worthy –- so to speak –- of your boasting.”

([06.17.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121780619652/that-is-a-marvelously-cuddly-look-for-you))


	101. Always the prince, never the king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still accurate if you're perpetually next in line and never moving up, right?

“What’s wrong, brother?”

“Nothing.”

“What is that paper?”

“I SAID IT’S NOTHING.”

“Oh I see, it came from one of those Midgardian fortune-telling cookies, did it not? What does it–-oh.”

“Go away.”

([06.19.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/121948489797/whats-wrong-brother-nothing-what-is))


	102. Happy "massive daddy issues" day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Father's Day. You can probably imagine how much certain people like that idea.

“NOT. A CHANCE. IN HEL.”

“Brother–-”

“No, I said no, I am not going to talk to him, I AM LEAVING.”

“It is Allfather’s Day, couldn’t you at least–-”

“That’s not even a thing.”

“…well, close enough. He is still your–-”

“Because I do not want to have this argument again, let me just point out that the man I believed was my father was never _cute_ , and therefore this is highly unlikely to be him in any meaningful sense.”

“…all right, that is a fair point.”

([06.21.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/122103321352/not-a-chance-in-hel-brother-no-i))

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it's not obvious, Freddy Krueger has nothing to do with this; he just happened to be on the same Hot Topic shelf as Odin, and for reasons of not wanting to get awkward questions I didn't take too much time to arrange things.


	103. The fuzziest Avenger

“I…oh my. Oh Norns, that is Captain America as a fluffy ‘Hideaway Pet Pillow.’ This is magnificent.”

“It looks rather like _your_ handiwork, brother.”

“You think I could look at the good Captain and invent this atrocity? You overestimate my capability for creative absurdity. I fear your beloved Midgard takes the crown in that area.”

([06.23.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/122279232607/i-oh-my-oh-norns-that-is-captain-america-as-a))


	104. Loki is still potentially a Good Bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this one planned for a good long while before I was able to do it. I figured I'd find a "Share a Coke with your Brother" bottle at the store but I never could find one, and then this can showed up in the recycling bin at work and it was _even more perfect_.

“I am not your ‘bro’.”

“Loki… :( ”

“I will accept ‘brother’. I will not accept 'bro’.”

“ :D ”

“Also, that smells vile. Is there anything in that drink that originated in nature?”

([06.25.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/122453467222/shareacoke-i-am-not-your-bro-loki))  



	105. Independence Day: American as a star-spangled shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's so American about apple pie anyway? It's not like it was even invented here.

“I feel as if we have somehow stumbled into a bizarre alternate dimension where Captain America’s influence has spread to literally everything.”

“Is that so terrible?”

“…what do you THINK.”

“I am only disappointed that these apples–-and, most tragically, the pie–-seem to be inedible, especially given that they are the right size for once.”

([07.03.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/123140428812/i-feel-as-if-we-have-somehow-stumbled-into-a))


	106. Let's call them Thocks

“That…that is a sock. Of you. A sock with your face on it. This is wonderful.”

“It’s absurd.”

“Yes. Yes it is. That’s the wonderful part. You know, I think I might be changing my mind about Midgardians–-if they can decide to create something as beautifully ridiculous as a sock with your face on it, they are at least worth something in entertainment value.”

“I’m sure you won’t be so amused if they design a sock of _your_ face.”

“Oh, don’t be so grumpy, brother; surely you knew when you joined the Avengers that you would have to accept a few hazards as part of the job. Although I suppose you didn’t expect the admiration of a grateful populace to fall under that category.”

([07.07.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/123482345092/that-that-is-a-sock-of-you-a-sock-with-your))


	107. See, because he's corny and flaky

“You know, I hardly make a study of Midgardian idioms, but I do believe there is something highly appropriate about the pairing of your image with that label.”

“I…do not understand…”

“I am sure Tony Stark would be delighted to educate you."

([07.15.15](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/124180477152/you-know-i-hardly-make-a-study-of-midgardian))


	108. The original Doof Warrior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually don't understand the term/name "Doof Warrior" as applied to the guy playing the flamethrower electric guitar in _Mad Max: Fury Road_ , because that seems like the opposite of doofy (okay, I looked it up, it's an Australian thing), but it sure makes sense here.

“You know, Loki, if you are trying to muffle your laughter, you are doing a very poor job of it.”

“Well then, I must try harder! This toy positively radiates dignity, after all, and of course it deserves my utmost respect. Oh, Norns.”

“It is not _that_ bad.”

“It looks ridiculous and it is on top of a cheap plastic stick that holds a tiny little fan and dispenses candy. How much sillier and more random do you want Midgardian tributes to you to get? …for the sake of your remaining pride, I’d advise you not to answer that. Someone might hear you and turn your ideas into reality.”


	109. Gluttony pt. 11: Pop-Tarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I Googled to see the official capitalization and hyphenation in the term "Pop-Tarts," because I have worked as a copy editor way too long not to.

“Well, brother, you must be terribly proud. At last Midgard has given you a truly meaningful honor—your image on a box of those disgusting flat pastries you love so much.”

“Yes, I…hmm.”

“…you want to eat them, don’t you.”

“You must admit, a single pastry would last a great deal longer like this.”

“Given that it would be roughly the size of your bed? I should hope so.”


	110. The hammer is...you know

“Brother, are you quite sure your admirers have not mistaken you for Volstagg? They seem to have emblazoned your image across a great number of food products.”

“Well, worse things could happen.”

“Certainly. They could have confused you with Fandral. I shudder to think what sorts of products your visage would appear on then. Can you imagine how many _more_ jokes you would see about your hammer?”


	111. Cap doesn't seem to think this is funny either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent like two hours at Target yesterday and left with only one purchase...but also like 10 pictures. Target, for some reason, tends to be good for photo ops.

“Please, PLEASE tell me there is one of these–-whatever exactly they are-–for you.”

“If I knew that, why would I tell you and invite further ridicule?”

“It would be hilarious, though.”


	112. Faster than a speeding pencil

“An eraser. Of your face. Your face on a piece of rubber children use to correct their mistakes. This is brilliant, I am-–oh, what is it the young mortals like to say these days? ‘I have lost the ability to can’?”

“…what in the Nine Realms does a method of food preservation have to do with anything? And when would you have learned that in the first place in order to lose the skill?”

“No, that’s not-–never mind. Ask one of your mortal friends. I suspect Darcy spends a great deal of time on Tumblr.”


	113. Binders full of superheroes

“Oh dear. I wonder why the mortals decided your image did not deserve an accompanying title the way your fellow Avengers did? And with one handed to them, too…”

“Perhaps my might simply speaks for itself.”

“Or perhaps even the humans find your hubris to be a bit much.”


	114. It's not short man's disease if you're used to being legitimately tall

“Brother! How wonderful to see you!”

“What are—where have you _been_? And why are you suddenly _taller than me_? Are you wearing lifts in your boots?”

“I have always been a bit taller than you. You are my _little_ brother, after all.”

“Not this little, and not this much shorter. When I discover who is responsible for this—”

“Oh, it is not so bad. We’ll find you a box to stand on or something.”

“We will do _no such thing_.”

(So…I finally got a 6-inch Thor for my 6-inch Loki, from the EXACT SAME SERIES, and if I stand them both on their included bases, Thor is AN ENTIRE HEAD TALLER than Loki. Which is kind of hilarious but also inaccurate and kind of annoying, because this kind of height difference was the whole reason I didn’t buy a Diamond Select Thor for TDW or Age of Ultron when it would’ve been cheaper.)


	115. GPOY

Oh look, it’s a perfect visual representation of me, because I am Loki trash (also because Loki is kind of a trash baby, but I love him)


	116. Avengers Assemble! (for lunch)

“Oh, that cannot be a good sign either. Relegated far to the back like an afterthought? Perhaps Midgard is growing a bit disenchanted with you.”

“Or the humans in this particular area of Midgard are biased toward their fellow Americans.”

“…fair point.”


	117. Up all night to get Loki (some more)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A round-up of all the new Loki figures I've gotten lately. Look, I did say I needed all of them. (Also I didn't go anywhere this summer, so I figured...I wasn't spending any money on travel, I could justify buying a few "souvenirs" without leaving home. DON'T JUDGE ME.)

Minimates Thor and Loki. They're awful. I love them

(possibly the best part--their ears are part of their hair pieces, and Loki's hair in particular needs to be glued on because it's very loose, so any time he gets knocked over or something, he instantly becomes bald)

* * *

 

Peg dolls I commissioned from [karis-the-fangirl](http://karis-the-fangirl.tumblr.com). LOOK HOW CUTE. ESPECIALLY THE SIDE-EYE LOKI IS GIVING THOR.

* * *

Another new acquisition: Tiniest Loki (perpetually grumpy Lego Loki provided for scale). This is actually a blind-box figure from Bulls-i-Toys' chibi Avengers line. Also, Lego Thor is on his way.

* * *

 

Did I ever post this? I picked up the Disney Infinity Loki recently because there was a sale and also of course I did. I mean, I need ALL THE LOKIS.

* * *

Newest writing buddy has zero patience for anybody’s shenanigans, especially if said shenanigans involve writing about him (yes I did the thing, I caved to the inevitable and bought a Hot Toys Loki because I might as well really _commit_ to being Loki trash, he is really detailed and freakishly lifelike)

* * *

MEANWHILE, SPEAKING OF SHENANIGANS: results of the recent earthquake. Yes, this is exactly how I found them. Venus is a Monster High doll and therefore in high school, while Captain Marvel is of course a (much smaller) adult, so this is A BIT INAPPROPRIATE. In fairness, though, having a crush on and wanting to make out with Carol Danvers is pretty reasonable.

* * *

When I first saw pictures of these I went "no, that's ridiculous, I don't need those," and then of course I kept coming back to them because ALL THE LOKIS. And Lokis are best when they come with Thors. So: Hot Toys Cosbaby Thor and Loki, bought in a set off eBay with Red Skull, Captain America, Tony Stark, and IM2 Iron Man, all weirdly fragile, and their strange little paws don't want to hold their weapons. Oh well, at least they're cute.


	118. Truth, honor, patriotism, and frightening small children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, what is it with creepy Cap plushies? You'd think someone would realize that human faces don't translate very well to that sort of thing. This one's especially bad because it's _huge_.

“That is…frankly a little terrifying, no matter what you might say about your friend the captain.”

“I am inclined to agree with you on this one, actually.”


	119. A cacaphony of thunder gods

“Well, this is…interesting. Welcome, I think?”

“Is there something wrong with [that Thor in the back](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/122771754414/those-of-you-who-follow-my-silly-photo-series-or)?”

“…we don’t talk about him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (So, [originally I had basically no interest in getting any Comics Thor action figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/8081430), especially because the Marvel Legends one looks chronically furious and his veiny muscles creep me out, but then I started looking more seriously into [customizing action figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427) and although I haven't actually _made_ a Kid Loki or Agent of Asgard Loki of either size yet, I'm _going_ to, and...well, every Loki needs a Thor. Plus there were some good deals on eBay.)


	120. Thunder down under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm sorry, I COULDN'T THINK OF A BETTER TITLE

“That is your face. On a pair of underwear.”

“Yes, I–-”

“Your face on children’s underwear.”

“I realize that.”

“THAT IS YOUR FACE ON A PAIR OF CHILDREN’S UNDERWEAR. This is a _gift_. What did I do to deserve this magnificent absurdity? Whatever it was, I must be sure to do it more often.”

“You are never going to let me forget this, are you?”

“Not if I live to be 10,000. Oh, Norns. That’s beautiful. Your face on a pair of underwear. I take back every bad thing I have ever said about Midgardians.”

“Really.”

“…well, some of them, at any rate.”


	121. Popeye isn't Asgardian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this isn't spinach but whatever, go with it.

“These are an appropriate size for us, but…”

“Yes, as much as I hate to agree with you when you sound so ridiculously mournful, this is a feast fit for no one.”

“The coffee is good, though.”

“You _would_ say that.”


	122. Actually a lot of strings on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, Loki and I mock, but if I saw a Loki string doll...yeah, I'd buy it. (So far [I've only seen one on Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/Loki-Super-Villain-String-Doll-Keychain/dp/B00JW77OVA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440541946&sr=8-1&keywords=loki+string+doll), just now when I checked because I'd assumed no such thing existed, so at least I can't impulse-buy one next time I'm at Hot Topic or Barnes & Noble?)
> 
> Also, [this exists](http://www.amazon.com/Minion-String-Keychain-Dolls-USA/dp/B00R1AERJ2/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1440541769&sr=8-6&keywords=thor+string+doll). I'm not sure what to think about that (aside from wishing I'd come across one in a store, because I don't actually want to order one just for a photo).

“I am sure there is a joke to be made here about how you are unraveling my patience, or perhaps the other way around, but I confess I cannot quite get there. What do you think, brother?”

“…are you requesting I help you mock me?”

“Of course not. I manage that perfectly well on my own.”

“I do seem to remember, though…was this what Ultron meant when he referred to strings?”

“I highly doubt it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realize that by mentioning Ultron I've made the timeline of this even more confusing. Look, I don't know when or where this takes place or which canon events have and haven't happened, they're toys, just go with it.


	123. Gone fishin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caught a few salmon this weekend and the kids helped. Sort of.

 

“If you catch any fish before I do, I will _know_ you used magic to cheat.”

“That’s not very fair of you. I might simply be more talented than you—or possessed of a good deal more luck.”

“Or you might manufacture your own luck by using magic to cheat.”

“Yes, well, that is always a possibility.”

“If you boys do not stop bickering and get started, I might just outfish you both.”


	124. Also, reading this is a thought crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Value Village is selling these as part of their Halloween section and I might need one. Also, I'm like a year behind in Welcome To Night Vale but I'm very slowly catching up.

“‘Dogs are not allowed in the dog park’? These are…very strange rules. Why would humans want to keep others from looking at or even thinking about them?“

“I am reasonably certain these are not ordinary humans, Thor.”


	125. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Force Friday, when a whole bunch of Star Wars stuff was released to go with the new movie, so I figured this was appropriate.

“Oh. Yes. [This is indeed impressive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/8665861).”

“Quite. I still prefer my knives, but as long blades go, these sabers are excellent.”

“I would like to know how these are made, personally."

“As would I. Apparently it is not-–or not precisely–-a Midgardian weapon, and the construction does not match Asgardian blades either.”

(Kinda crappy lightsaber FX provided by the only free laser-beam app I could find, because I’m too lazy to do this the long way and too cheap to buy a better app for one picture)


	126. Working for peanuts

“When you suggested we try the local cuisine, Thor, this was certainly not what I had in mind.”

“It is…arguably local…”

“This establishment is called ‘Texas Roadhouse.’ We are not presently in Texas. Correct?”

“Well, true, but as I understand it, there are some regional connections between this ‘Texas’ and–-”

“You just wanted to crack peanut shells with Mjolnir.”

“…in fairness, can you really blame me?”

(featuring my dad's hands and my sister's offscreen embarrassment, and a reference to the fact that I live in Alaska, which is way bigger than Texas)


	127. #WheresRory? Probably RIGHT BEHIND YOU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, has a new book coming out called _Furiously Happy_ , and people have been taking pictures traveling with [Rory the raccoon](http://thebloggess.com/2015/08/wheres-rory/) from the cover. So obviously the kids and I had to join in.

“Call me hypocritical if you must, Thor–-”

“With pleasure, thank you–-”

“–-but I do not trust…whatever sort of creature that is.”

“Oh, come, he looks friendly enough.”

“Yes, or gleefully homicidal, perhaps, which does not put me particularly at ease.”

* * *

Bonus picture: #WheresRory? Meeting and probably freaking out my many office buddies


	128. In which I'm awful

I bought a Thanos bobblehead because I am The Worst but don’t worry, Loki, Thor’s here to protect you this time. Possibly Gamora also. Honestly hard to say what Nebula will do.


	129. Loki probably says it toe-mah-toe, too

“I cannot tell if these are meant for us or for humans. Their sizes are…”

“Irregular, yes, but judging by the color of most of these fruits, I would venture to guess they are not currently intended for consumption by anyone.”

“You realize, Loki, you could just say ‘they look unripe’.”

“Where would be the fun in that?”


	130. So. We meet again.

“Ah, this is much better than the last time we met. No Chitauri, no Other, and you seem to have lost a very great deal of your stature and…presence, let us say. I would invite you to threaten me now, but I am not at all sure you remain capable of doing so.”

* * *

Bonus Hot Toys Loki pictures!

You know a figure has amazing articulation when he can hold his own nose

* * *

“You’re not writing. Why the Hel aren’t you writing?”

(More than one person has told me how creepy this is and that they'd find it very motivating, which of course is the whole point.)


	131. Halloween: eye of newt sounds disgusting

“Ah yes, another charming example of what Midgardians believe magic users look like. You can see, I hope, why I want nothing to do with their primitive ideas on this subject.”

“This representation is not wholly dissimilar to your practices.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, this being certainly does seem to favor green and black colors.”

“What was that, brother? Did you say you want a bed full of snakes tonight?”

“…no thank you.”

“As I thought.”


	132. Gluttony pt. 12: all the snacks. ALL OF THEM

“NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.”

“The mighty Thor is excited about a tea party?”

“You may have the tea. I am here for the cakes. And…whatever these other pastries are.”

“Please try not to make yourself sick.”


	133. Halloween: gluttony pt. 13 (candy corn)

“That is…that is not corn. How do these bear any resemblance to corn? And why do Midgardians find any appeal in a brightly colored, compressed mass of sugar and chemicals?”

“I enjoy them.”

“These pieces of ‘corn’ are compressed masses the size of your head, Thor, in case that’s somehow slipped your notice. Please do not tell me, at least, that you have eaten more than one.”

“Very well, I’ll not tell you.”


	134. Halloween: still better than sparkly vampires

“I wonder why this fellow seems so upset. I mean, aside from being a skeleton, I suppose.”

“Did you fail to notice the frankly absurd amount of glitter with which he is decorated? If anything, he does not appear remotely embarrassed _enough_.”


	135. This Is (not) Spinal Tap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wore spine earrings to the chiropractor’s office because why not.

“These are both supposed to be representations of spines? I confess I fail to see the resemblance, Loki.”

“Well, perhaps you _would_ , if you had paid any attention to our tutors—”

“I _did_ pay attention.”

“—when they were not describing some glorious battle.”

“…ah.”


	136. Halloween: dem bones

“Please, _please_ tell me you have not begun dabbling in reanimating the dead.”

“If I had, I would not be ‘dabbling.’ I am not some dilettante who lacks the dedication to master his craft.”

“Loki.”

“Also, if you would take half a moment to look, you would notice that this skeleton is in fact a cheap Midgardian toy made of plastic, not the remnants of some living thing.”

“That is good–-”

“Thank you for the idea, though, I believe I shall experiment with animating it. That could prove entertaining.”


	137. Halloween: wanna know how I got these horns?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw this shirt when it first went up on Woot and decided, no, even though at that point I'd seen very few other Loki shirts I really didn't need this one because I'm not a huge Joker fan...and then I stumbled across the shirt at a thrift store, where I still decided I didn't need to own it but of course I _did_ need to get a picture.

“I know you like chaos and this holiday holds some appeal for you, brother, but…you would dress as this trickster? Truly?”

“No I would _not_ , if anything he has bastardized my armor for his own delusions of what constitutes clever costuming.”

“It’s a _bit_ clever.”

“Sif, I am the God of Mischief. This is…this is positively vulgar.”

“Well, if you wish to speak of vulgarity, this ‘Joker’ certainly did not invent that particular style of sprawling in a throne. I am afraid that is all you.”

“…I still would not scrawl on the walls.”

“Yes, brother, I think the servants were all relieved when you grew out of that habit.”

“At least I grew out of overturning tables of food in a tantrum less recently than FIVE YEARS AGO.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In looking for a link to this shirt, I discovered I can't find it online as anything but a Loot Crate exclusive, even though I'm _positive_ I saw it on a daily shirt site originally and I really think it was Woot, so now I'm annoyed with myself for not grabbing it at the thrift store after all. On the plus side, scouring the Woot catalog did lead me to [this adorable shirt](http://shirt.woot.com/offers/ragnarock?ref=cnt_ctlg_dgn_0), which I definitely need.


	138. Halloween: the clothes make the man

“Ohhh, now I understand the secret behind the supposedly mighty Thor’s legendary biceps. You should tell your friend the Captain; I think he is a bit jealous. Perhaps he would be comforted to learn he needn’t be.”

“That is not—my armor is not padded!”

“If you say so, brother.”

“Perhaps _you_ are jealous that Midgardians admire me enough to produce these costumes in the first place.”

“Jealous of flimsy, mass-produced costumes when those who wish to dress like me must demonstrate dedication by investing some actual effort and creativity into the process? Not particularly, no.”


	139. Friends with the monster that's under my bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Loki and how he sees himself as a monster. I also semi-casually collect Monster High dolls. I hope no one is surprised by either of these things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the title is from the Eminem song, except I don't like rap or Eminem so the version I listen to is [a Rihanna-only edit I found on Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTofYBv-Afk).

"So...you are saying...you all _like_ being monsters."

"We're the most scary-cool monsters you'll ever meet! Why wouldn't we like being who we are?"

"And we're all monsters together, each one of us with monsters for our best ghoulfriends. That helps too, you know."

"...yes, I imagine it would."

* * *

Speaking of Hot Toys Loki: he comes with some accessories, including the chains he's wearing in his first _Thor: The Dark World_ scene, because sure why not. The collar and cuffs are plastic pieces that don't open, though. So when I originally opened the box, the first thing I saw was the instruction sheet for putting on the chains, which you do by POPPING OFF HIS HEAD, HANDS, AND FEET. Talk about adding insult to injury.


	140. Damn right she's worthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Thor from the Collector Corps Secret Wars box. LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS

“Mm, brother, you look ravishing. Well, not ‘you,’ precisely, and not so much ‘ravishing’ as 'adorable,’ but I am sure you take my meaning.”

* * *

Bonus: I recently picked up the Disney Infinity Thor figure so now he and Loki are fighting side by side AS THEY SHOULD BE

 


	141. BEAN ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages ago, [fannishliss](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss) sort of suggested Thor on a caffeine high. It finally happened.

 

“I’M THE KING OF THE WOOOOOORLD AND ALSO ALL THE COFFEE IN ALL THE REALMS”

“Oh Norns, what have you done now?”

“COFFEE. I HAVE DONE COFFEE. YOU SHOULD ACQUIRE SOME OF YOUR OWN AND THEN WE CAN CLIMB ALL THE TREES OR SLAY A FIERCE DRAGON OR DRIVE AWAY ALL THE SNOW OR RUN ALL THE WAY TO THE NEW CITY OF YORK”

“…you drank all of those. Didn’t you. Despite the fact that a single one is large enough for you to _bathe_ in it.”

“COFFEE IS BLESSED BY THE NORNS”


	142. Bedtime for Bonzo

Realized it was very inconsiderate of me to go trotting off to bed leaving Loki just standing around all night, so I made him a bed from my vest.

…don’t judge me.

Breakfast in bed. Please don’t spill anything on my vest.


	143. Bonfire night

“This is cozy, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I suppose it would be, for someone who was not born in a barren wasteland of ice and snow.”

“I am sorry, brother, that was insensitive of me. Are you uncomfortable?”

“I…no. Not particularly. You know, it isn’t very fun to needle you for thoughtlessness now that you actually apologize for it on occasion.”

“I’m…sorry again?”


	144. Thanksgiving: another helping of Norse bro feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates!

“I am thankful that the available alcohol is of such weak quality that even you are unlikely to get drunk, at least not very quickly.”

“Well, I do not have to be drunk to be thankful for you, brother.”

“…I suppose I am not entirely ungrateful for your stubbornness, as damnably irritating as it can be at times.”

“I love you too, Loki.”

“Oh, stop grinning like that, you sentimental oaf.”


	145. Holidays: a trend too far

“I…what.”

“Oh, I have heard of this tradition! Tony Stark tells me it is nearly sacred in certain parts of Midgard–-ugly sweaters in truth, that is, rather than cookies in their image–-and Clint Barton has promised to acquire an ugly sweater for me this season! I am quite looking forward to it.”

“Now, this I actually want to see. Hmm, perhaps I should assist them by informing them of your love for glitter.”

“I…do not believe I love glitter…”

“Yes, exactly.”


	146. National Cookie Day (more or less)

“You said today is the Midgardian observance known as National Cookie Day. Under what possible definition are these cookies?”

“They are…sweet and made of dough, and therefore close enough?”

“You just wanted another excuse to try to consume Midgardian snacks that are far, far too large for you.”

“Well, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My entire thought process: "oh hey the internet says it's National Cookie Day. huh. aw crap I should do something for that but I have no idea what and also I have no cookies. but I do have scones? hmm, okay, let's run with that."
> 
> ...also, it only now occurred to me that the boys have probably not had a bath in a very long time and, well...you've seen where they've been. I SHOULD PROBABLY GIVE THEM A BATH. (Doing so before I took this, with food I still intend to eat, would of course have been smarter.)


	147. Holidays: decking the halls

“This seems to me a singularly pointless endeavour.”

“You know, brother, you have said that before, which I think by definition means you have been wrong at least once.”

“…word games are not your forte, Thor, and I would advise you to stop trying.”

“You only say that when you cannot think of a better response.”

“Stop congratulating yourself and help me with these damn lights if you want them so badly, or I will tangle them further and leave the entire mess to you.”


	148. Holidays: we built this city on lots and lots of sugar

“Even by typically shoddy Midgardian standards of construction, these buildings look structurally unsound to an exceptional degree.”

“Well, they appear to be made of various sweets, so perhaps this village is meant to be eaten?”

“Sweets that have been glued together and touched by untold numbers of grubby Midgardian hands? I should hope not.”

* * *

Bonus: meet my newest Loki, a [Collector Corps](https://www.collectorcorps.com/) exclusive from Funko’s Dorbz line! LOOK HOW CUTE AND FAT AND HAPPY HE IS. This one was especially exciting because October’s “Villains” theme was the entire reason I subscribed in the first place, hoping maybe I’d get a Loki figure of some kind, specifically maybe a Dorbz figure because there wasn’t one yet. AND BEHOLD. Not that subscribing to something like this for the slim chance of getting a particular kind of figure is a great idea, but so far it’s been a very high-quality subscription with actual exclusives that are worth something even if you don’t necessarily want to keep them (unlike Arcade Block, which I had for two months and found pretty disappointing).


	149. Holidays: the Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper

“I…do not…why would ANYONE—”

“I agree, this is a bit…strangely juvenile.”

“Juvenile? I have been known to appreciate and even take part in juvenile humor. This, even by Midgardian standards, is absurd. And rather disgusting.”


	150. Holidays: we wish you a merry meow-mas

“Do, ah…do Midgardian cats typically sing? Are they known for this trait?”

“Not to my knowledge…”

“Then why—”

“Well, perhaps rather than singing, they…caterwaul.”

“…you did NOT.”

“Truthfully, brother, I haven’t the faintest idea. Although at least these would be large enough for us to ride.”

“I cannot even think about that in the face of your atrocious bit of wordplay.”

#Loki doesn't appreciate Thor's dad jokes (Allfather jokes?)


	151. Holidays: no, please don't ever sing it again

“I take back anything I may have declared earlier—this, without a doubt, is the vilest Midgardian creation I have yet encountered. Those voices are excruciating.”

“Perhaps it is intended as a gift for enemies rather than friends.”

“Ah, well, in that case I suppose this atrocity has some use. I should send one to Tony Stark.”


	152. Holidays: ugly sweater part II

“Are you _quite_ sure this is an accurate representation of Midgard’s [supposed ugly-sweater tradition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/12334241)?”

“Mmf. Well, I have it on good authority–-”

“I would not consider the mortals of your acquaintance to be good authorities on anything. Also, your elbow is jabbing my spine.”

“Stop squirming, then. My friends are at least familiar with Midgardian holiday customs, and I was assured that this garment was appropriate.”

“Fine, but wearing it like this?”

“That seems a bit odd to me as well, but Tony Stark said it was equally traditional. Something about a ‘[get-along shirt](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/get-along-shirt)’?”

“Oh for the love of–- Right, I’m cutting my way out of this. Speak now if you don’t want this ridiculous thing destroyed.”


	153. Holidays: candy cane lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas from me and my kids!

“Thor, if you try to lick that and become stuck to it instead, I will _not_ help you.”

“I expect not. I rather think you would be laughing too hard to stand.”

“…well, yes, but there is also the principle of the thing.”

* * *

In conclusion, merry Christmas from my family* to yours

*my small army of Lokis and accompanying Thors, missing a couple that live at my office


	154. Holidays (well, post-holiday sales): boulevard of broken ornaments

“That is…a bit unsettling. I am not at all sure I want to know what happened to these poor fellows.”

“Nothing more sinister than Midgardian clumsiness, I imagine.”

“Well, I certainly know it was not you, brother, for in that case these statuettes would be defaced far more creatively.”

“In fairness, they _are_ all missing that ridiculous hammer.”

“Given how inventive you have been in the past, I think my point remains.”


	155. Holidays: New Year drunkenness is pretty traditional

“Would this size meet your standards for prudent consumption of spirits? Particularly given traditions of the new year?”

“Better, but still a fairly terrible idea. Perhaps you failed to notice, but that bottle is taller than you are.”


	156. Tragic space siblings (now with more canonical incest)

“Well, brother, you can take comfort in the fact that the House of Odin is not _quite_  the most dysfunctional royal family in the universe.”

“That is actually not very comforting.”

“I imagine not. House Abrasax sets perhaps a uniquely low bar.”

“Have you heard of…Stark mentioned something about a game of thrones…”

“…ah. Yes. Well, I think a number of those families belong in a category all their own.”


	157. Being a spoilsport as a defense mechanism

“Hmm, I suppose this shield would be marginally useful for keeping the rain off. Is that why you keep it around? Clearly no one in your merry band minds looking a bit foolish.”

“If you mean a rain of bullets or shrapnel, sure. I figure an umbrella’s good enough for water. Now give it back.”

“You are not very entertaining.”

“Blame Tony, it works to keep him off my case too.”


	158. Dr. McCoy is way too old for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to [Lyviel](archiveofourown.org/users/lyviel) for the action figure and at least half of the idea.

****“Christ, what kind of doctors do you have up there in the land of the space Vikings? Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.”

“Our _healers_ are far more advanced than any primitive mortal idea of—”

“The hell they are, you people don’t even have psychiatrists. I’m writing you a referral for therapy—in fact, your whole family should get counseling.”

“I hardly think—”

“No, shut up, I’m the doctor here and I say you need to see a therapist, dammit. Don’t make me hunt you down.”


	159. Not very baller

“You look to be having a ball here, brother.”

“That is terrible.”

“Yes, well, I do not always disdain obvious jokes, particularly when I do not want to see them fly merrily over your head.”


	160. Getting hammered

“Am I supposed to be flattered that I at least rank higher than _most_ of your villainous enemies in [this odd little game](http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-B0855-Marvel-Power-Hammer/dp/B00NHLA1V2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454205468&sr=8-1&keywords=thor+power+hammer)? I confess I do not feel particularly flattered. At least I was not lumped in with the rest of the Frost Giants, although coming in below a less impressive Midgardian version of the Destroyer is more than a bit insulting.”

“That is ‘you’ to the extent that any of the strange beings we have seen with your name are you, which is to say, not at all. You do not belong anywhere on a list of my enemies.”

“…and you are a sentimental fool.”

“Yes, brother.”


	161. Parts: The Action Figure Horror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've started working on [customizing action figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/). The boys aren't hugely comfortable with this.

“I know how much you hate taking my advice whenever it involves avoiding potential battle, Thor, but I think we would be exceptionally unwise to linger here.”

“I am very much inclined to agree with you this time, actually. I am not particularly eager to encounter [whatever being did this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/).”


	162. Unraveled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's this game coming out called [Unravel](http://www.unravelgame.com/#/) and it looks adorable, largely because of its main character, so [I made my own Yarny](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/13607533). Obviously, he had to meet my kids. (How long did it take to get everyone posing more or less properly? You don't want to know. At least it's warmer outside than it was yesterday.)

“Who is your new friend, Loki?”

“This is Yarny. Apparently, he solves puzzles—so, not something that would interest you.”

“I can solve puzzles. When I wish to.”

“Ah, so it is only a matter of preference every time you leave it to me to work out anything requiring a solution more complicated than ‘hit it really hard’?”


	163. Summer in February

“I am nearly certain you are not using that in the way it is intended.”

“Would it satisfy you if I did? Or would you then simply be pained by Midgardian whimsy?”

“…satisfaction is not in my nature, and you are being unfair.”

“I thought you might say something like that.”


	164. From the mouths of babes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Kid Loki and I'm very proud of him. Check out [my other custom figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/10541790) for more pictures and a lot more details.

“You…don’t look like what people seem to remember. What kind of Loki are you?”

“One not as innocent as you, I suspect.”

“Well, you don’t feel like my older self. He wanted to change, and I happened instead. But you—I think you’re already changing.”

“Do you.”

“You love your brother. What else do you think that could possibly mean?”

“…I suppose I shouldn’t expect to hide much of anything from even an alternate younger version of myself.”


	165. Valentine's Day: confusion is also probably traditional

“What is the meaning of this?”

“I, ah…I have been told it is traditional, on Midgard, for the day celebrating romantic attachments…”

“That’s uncharacteristically sweet of you, but why so much pink? And what do the X and circle signify?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea.”


	166. Giving the people what they want (they want cute Loki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids meet [my customized Coronation Loki Funko figure](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/13830874). It's weird.

“Ah…is there something you would like to tell me, Loki?”

“Not in the slightest.”


	167. His antennae bend the other way though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Came across a new series of Marvel blind-bag figures at the store so of course I had to try for Loki. This is also the first time I've successfully chosen a blind-bag figure by feel, although in fairness it wasn't very hard this time because of the minimal packaging.

“Are you quite sure this figurine is meant to represent you, brother?”

“I will admit it is not the best depiction.”

“It reminds me of something else, only I cannot quite remember—”

“I hope you are not going to say the horns look like those of a cow or goat, because that was hardly clever the first time, becoming less so with every repetition.”

“No, not that, he is…part man and part insect, I believe, and blue—the Tick, that was it.”

“…well done, you’ve actually found something worse than ‘cow’.”


	168. The dino whisperer

“Loki, come, we should just make use of this vehicle and leave, I mislike the look of that creature’s teeth—”

“Well, yes, I am sure you do, if your chief thought is to fight it rather than trying to understand it.”


	169. Leader of the pack

“Why must you insist on [trying to befriend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/14322259) all these creatures that are clearly—ah. Hm.”

“Clearly what, Thor?”

“It is no matter.”

“You were going to say ‘monsters’.”

“I was not!”

“You were, and although I cannot really blame you, the only answer I can offer is, why do you _think_ I might feel some sympathy and kinship for creatures that others are inclined to fear and dislike, and who are unlikely to receive much effort at understanding? In truth, I have found that ‘monsters’ tend to be marvelously loyal, at least if they know themselves to be monsters.”

“…I am sorry, Loki, I was not thinking. I am trying, but I know I still hurt you with my thoughtlessness too often.”

“I…know you are trying, actually. Which is the only reason I will consider not sending these two to destroy your bed.”


	170. National Puppy Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, today's nearly over, but it's not quite over where I live, so...close enough.

“All right, Thor, do you think this little creature makes for a more suitable companion?”

“Well, he is rather more appealing, and at least his wonderful thick fur is good for petting–-ow!”

“Ah yes, I may have forgotten to mention–-do take care, she tends to bite strangers. Or anyone else who assumes she is male.”

“So I’ve gathered, and thank you _very_ much for warning me in advance.”


	171. Easter: What, you eggs!

“Thor, please explain to me why these bizarre eggs have faces.”

“I…do not believe I can.”

“Midgardians are disturbed in their celebration of every holiday—that is the only reasonable explanation. Why else would they attempt to give mobility and frankly unsettling spirit to such mundane objects?”


	172. Easter: (egg) riders in the sky

“This is a tiny car. For an egg. Bearing your image and that of your mortal friends.”

“Truly, Loki, I do not understand it either.”

“Well, good, because if you claimed to, I would have serious concerns about your ability to think critically about anything.”


	173. A sound decision

“…”

“No, Loki, I’ve no idea either. Please don’t ask me.”


	174. The first Avenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a [custom Loki Cap figure](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/15064741) for [mojobaby75](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mojobaby75), so obviously I had to take a picture or two before I sent him off.

“…do I wanna ask?”

“Only you can decide that, my friend–-but truth be told, I suspect you do not.”


	175. Tea and superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy National Superhero Day, I guess?

“I certainly hope you realize that this does not qualify as a ‘date’ if your brother is here.”

“Of course. Sadly, he has become a bit obsessed with Midgardian coffee, to the extent that I am afraid he may need supervision to prevent him from imbibing.”

“…well, I cannot disagree with you there.”

“I am not going to drink this tea, Loki. It is bitter water and vastly inferior to coffee, which is delicious, and there is some _right here_ —”

“NO.”


	176. Team (bottle) Cap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't actually related to Civil War (no idea when I'll be seeing it; hopefully soon), but I figured a picture featuring Steve was appropriate for the US release date.

“Much as I hate to attribute anything even approaching gravitas to that garish toy you love so much, I must admit that it possesses more…something…than this excuse for a shield.”

“Wow. Was that a compliment?”

“Do not flatter yourself. Yours would be a poor shield indeed if it could not easily outclass a bottlecap.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad. The color suits you. Like what you already wear, but even gaudier. Maybe you could put some stickers on it.”

(yes, I did make [a bottlecap shield](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/15448153) just so I could take this picture. also because it's the right size and I think it's funny)


	177. Iron Bug

“Should I call him Iron Insect? He _is_  supposed to look like some sort of beetle in this form, yes? I am at least grateful my likeness has not been subjected to such indignity. Lack of popularity can indeed be a blessing.”

“Ah…brother…perhaps you did not notice…”

“Did not notice _what_.”

“The, um, images on the tag. Particularly the one of…you.”

“…well, bollocks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I'm going to buy Tsum Loki the second he actually comes out (so far, he doesn't exist beyond pictures like the one on the tag), and Tiny Loki will just have to deal with it.


	178. Tsum Widow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A companion to [the previous chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/15555685), except I actually own this one (and Thor and Gamora) instead of just taking a picture at Target.

“Well, at least the form of an insect is appropriate for the Black Widow, if rather unflattering.”

“That’s cute, but spiders aren’t insects, and I can absolutely still hurt you without limbs.”


	179. Double header

“That is…genuinely disturbing.”

“Yeah, not gonna argue with you there. I’ll be honest, I don’t actually want to know what’s going on here.”

* * *

Bonus: the whole reason I had these two out in the first place was because, uh, [I decided to take some Steve/Loki pictures for Lise](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/144826513702/souh-veliseraptors-remember-this-cold). (It's okay, this is 6" Loki, not the usual Tiny Loki, so this one isn't cheating on Sif or anybody else.) An example:

 


	180. Loki doesn't actually ship it

“My dear brother, you’ve never looked better. Well, cozier, at least. Or fuzzier. Oh, don’t sigh at me, you know it’s true.”

“I suppose this would be a reasonable place for a nap.”

“Certainly, if you find nothing uncomfortable in the idea of sleeping with yourself.”

“…you are still not as funny as you think you are.”

“To be fair, it is a rather high bar.”


	181. Asgardian beach bod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stumbled across this Thor at a thrift store and figured, well, I might as well bring him on my trip to visit family.

“…what are you wearing?”

“We are traveling somewhere considerably hotter, yes? I thought I would dress for the weather. Do you not intend to do the same?”

“I like my ordinary travel wear just fine, thank you very much.”

“You know, brother, there is no shame in having musculature that does not quite compare to that of the God of Thunder.”

“Oh, that makes me feel _much_  better.”


	182. Minnesota: a true ox-brain

“With everything I hear about this land’s [giant blue ox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bunyan), I begin to wonder if we have not come to Jotunhein instead.”

“Believe me, brother, Jotunheim is neither hot nor welcoming, and I would not have agreed to come.”

“I do like these horns, though.”

“I am sure you do.”


	183. Minnesota: the mushroom kingdom

“I would take it as a kindness, brother, if you refrained from reenacting a particular scene from The Lion King just now.”

“One, I cannot imagine why you think I would be familiar with a piece of entertainment for Midgardian children, and two, we are so close to the ground that a fall from this height could bruise only your pride.”

“So you _are_  familiar with The Lion King.”

“…not the point.”


	184. Minnesota: also Mjolnir probably sinks like a rock

“Come in, brother, the water is perfectly fine.”

“The last time you said that, the water was still half frozen.”

“Well, the last time you told me the same thing, I was picking leeches from my skin for hours. At least cold water builds character.”


	185. Minnesota: gone fishin', maybe

“This does not look like an overly reputable establishment, but at least its construction is solid.”

“Well, if you have claimed this shack, it appears I cannot join you except by appointment—if, in fact, I can be considered a relative. Do you suppose the sign means non-relatives are welcome any time or not at all?”

“Brother, you are welcome anywhere I go, always. Well, ah, perhaps not _everywhere_ …”

“Fear not, I’ve no desire whatsoever to join you in the privy.”


	186. Minnesota: no, I don't know what kind of skull that is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got back from my trip a few days ago, but I'm still posting latergrams.

“This is quite a trophy. Will you not come examine it with me?”

“It is liberally decorated with a not insignificant amount of cobwebs, in case you failed to notice.”

“If you are afraid of them, I suppose I can clear away the webs for you.”

“Please note that I never said ‘afraid’. I simply dislike wearing cobwebs on my person.”


	187. California: not quite a traditional date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After visiting family in Minnesota, I went to San Diego to visit a friend, and of course I took pictures there too.

“This is indeed a lovely place for a ‘date,’ Loki, but surely you recognize that courting a warrior cannot primarily involve strolls in the park, or I am likely to become rather bored.”

“Of course. As it happens, this pond is full of fish—koi, I believe they are called—and although they are not ordinarily dangerous, they are certainly large enough to pose a challenge for you. And then perhaps we can make a picnic of your catch, after.”

“…all right, yes, that does sound like a pleasant afternoon. You will cook the fish, then?”

“Certainly, although I would very much prefer to leave the gutting to you.”


	188. California: all dogs go to the summoning circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came across this in a shop of supposedly authentic Mexican stuff in San Diego's Old Town. I have no idea what it's supposed to be (I mean, a candle holder, but otherwise).

“I…do not think I want to know what is happening here.”

“I certainly do. If this is some strange canine summoning ritual native to this particular area of Midgard, I would very much like to know everything about it.”

“So you can counteract it?”

“Well, that too.”


	189. Gotta catch at least some of 'em

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interrupting the vacation pictures for a Pokemon Go picture, because of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the picture quality. The in-app camera is not what it might be.

“Are you playing that new game that seems to have all the mortals so entertained? Apparently Stark Tower is a major gathering point of some kind, and I am not sure whether Tony is pleased or annoyed.”

“No, I am not, because I do not rely on silly Midgardian games for entertainment, and I can see creatures others cannot without the aid of equally silly Midgardian devices.”

“Oh, well done finding that one. It looks like it could be fierce, doesn’t it?”

“Please shut up.”


	190. California: not really king of the jungle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> California seems to have way more than the usual amount of weird plants that look like horrifying tentacles. (I don't know what the usual amount is, but it's definitely less.)

“If you are stuck because you thought climbing a tree composed _entirely_ of thorns was a good idea, I am not coming up after you to help. Are you stuck?”

“…no.”

“A related question: why do you continue to believe you can lie to me, ever, about anything?”


	191. California: feed me, Thor

“'Violators will be fed to the--' That is absurd. Those are the least impressive carnivorous plants I have ever seen. Even Vanaheim has better.”

“If by better you mean ‘much larger and dangerous to mammals rather than insects’—”

“And therefore a fight worthy of songs in the feast halls, yes, of course that is what I mean.”

“Well, if you wish to test those, be my guest. I prefer to avoid whenever possible any chance of being devoured by plants, but I suppose there is no accounting for taste.”

“Mine in wishing for a good battle, or the plants’ in being willing to digest me?”

“Both, I imagine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last latergram from this vacation, at least for the time being; I have some other pictures, but nothing with a concrete caption. 
> 
> Also, if this photo looks weird, that's because it's actually part of one photo inexpertly layered over another so both the foreground and background are more or less in focus, because I couldn't get both to look right at the time. I used the PicsArt Photo Studio app for iOS, in case anyone would like to play around with something similar. (I could swear Snapseed used to have layers but either they never did or don't anymore, I don't know.)


	192. The accessories make the man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, it was on clearance at Hot Topic, don't judge me.

“That is…a bow. That is a hair bow with my helmet on it as a decoration.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I am not at all sure whether I should be insulted or flattered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I haven't updated this in nearly a month. I haven't been very inspired, I guess, although with Halloween season rapidly approaching, hopefully that will change soon.


	193. Gone camping

“Really?”

“Listen—”

“Really.”

“I swear I did not choose this sleeping bag.”

“REALLY.”

“Tony bought me one because he thought it was hilarious and then I couldn’t find another one at the last minute, okay?”

“And people call _me_ vain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True story: I found this tiny Cap sock in a puddle while walking my dog and decided to take it home with me in case I found a use for it. I won't say this was a _good_ use, but hey, it's something. (Ever since I started [customizing action figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427), I've become even more of a magpie than I used to be.) Also true story: I made the tiny pillows when I was like 8 for the two or three action figures I had at the time, and I used the red sock as a sleeping bag for them. Why did I hang onto these things for something like 20 years? Uh...I have no idea, but I guess I'm glad I did.


	194. Stand under my umbrella

“Under Midgardian conventions, I believe I should be holding this for my lady…?”

“Given that you are paler, vainer, and generally more fastidious than I am, I rather think you should keep it for yourself.”


	195. The adventures of tinier Loki and Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funko finally made a Pocket Pop version of Loki and I'm so happy. Unlike the normal-sized versions, this one is also appropriately pale (full-sized Funko Thor, for some reason, is paler than Funko Loki).

“Oh, that is…that is just precious. I feel as if I should scratch him behind the ears or something. It’s—well, you don’t exactly have a ‘mini-me,’ as I think the humans say, but perhaps your large-headed counterpart would appreciate a shrunken version of himself. At least they can be abnormal together.”

“I suppose I cannot disagree. Also, Loki, look what I found.”

“…oh, Norns.”

“I think ‘precious’ was the word you used? ‘Adorable’ would also fit.”

“I hate you. And Midgard, but especially you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You want a little ridiculous and mostly irrelevant behind-the-scenes info? I bought the Thor Pocket Pop ages ago--like, probably about a year--for the sole purpose of doing something like this, and then I never got around to taking a picture with it, partly because I couldn't think of anything Thor should say in response to Loki's snark. Not terribly long ago, Funko announced a Loki Pocket Pop, which of course I needed because I need _all the Lokis_ , but better yet I finally had an obvious way to finish the dumb caption. Honestly this is pretty representative of my writing process in general, in that I have lots of ideas and then I take way, way too long to execute them.


	196. The mighty jungle

“Truthfully, Loki, it does seem a bit odd—I am reasonably sure it is customary on Midgard to keep one’s grass from growing quite so high.”

“‘High’ is rather a relative measure for us, in case you’ve forgotten.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be fair, the grass really was high, because it had rained several days in a row and nobody could cut it.


	197. It's my party and I'll go to high school if I want to

“You are hosting a–-what?”

“[My sweet 1600 party](http://monsterhigh.wikia.com/wiki/Why_Do_Ghouls_Fall_in_Love%3F)! Everybody at school is coming, it’s going to be the best party in town–-”

“Wait, you are 1,600 years old?”

“Well, 1,599 for a little bit longer, but yeah. Vampires, you know.”

“You are older than I am…and you willingly attend high school.”

“…yes? I mean, my parents want me to, but all my ghoulfriends are there, so…”

“No, carry on, I simply had not previously realized that I do not understand even nonhuman Midgardians.”


	198. Every Loki needs his Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot Toys Thor finally joins us, because I am weak and also see the chapter title.

“[Once again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/10287519), you are appallingly late.”

“I have missed you too, brother.”


	199. Halloween: the pumpkin princes

“Now, I may be wrong—which is rather unlikely—but I believe the usual goal in decorating a pumpkin is to make it frightening, yes?”

“We Avengers are indeed fearsome warriors.”

“Hmm. Perhaps. To be perfectly honest I should think it would be rather more frightening that the lot of you have found yourselves in the company of such famously intimidating characters as Olaf the snowman.”

“Oh, so you know his name? I thought you might like that tale.”

“I—shut up.”


	200. Halloween: a pumpkin by any other name

“This is—supposed to resemble a pumpkin? I am sure it could be made to look even less like one, but that would take genuine effort.”

“Perhaps the flavor is that of a pumpkin?”

“Well, if that is the intent, the humans who created this candy still failed miserably. Even the chocolate is barely passable.”


	201. Halloween: costumes part 1

“Explain.”

“Well…ghosts are traditional, but…”

“You are supposed to be a ghost?”

“That was the plan, but this garment is not exactly cooperating.”

“Perhaps you should add some lace and mimic one of the mortals’ myths, if you are determined to look absurd. That was my goal, of course. I had hoped to find an inflatable Mjolnir, but this tiny copy is good too, don’t you think?”

“For varying definitions of ‘good,’ certainly.”

“Do remember that this was your idea in the first place. Did you really think I would ignore a perfect opportunity to mock you?”


	202. Halloween: costumes part 2

“This ensemble neither fits nor makes sense. Why did you insist we try to put together costumes?”

“It is festive! And the hat is—”

“If you say it suits me, I will throw something at you.”

“It…is at least one of your colors?”

“Yes, and I am nearly certain it looks ridiculous. Speaking of which, what in the Nine Realms are you wearing?”

“Surely you have heard of Santa Claus.”

“Yes, for a completely different holiday. One which, I might note, does not normally involve sunglasses.”

“Well, at least it is a complete outfit. And Tony Stark says that sunglasses are ‘cool’.“

“I am sure he does.”


	203. Thanksgiving: the star-spangled mate with a plate

“I would be thankful for my shield, if it weren’t COVERED IN FOOD.”

“It is hardly my fault that your shield makes a perfect platter, Captain.”

“I don’t see you loading up Sif’s shield.”

“Of course not. I am not _that_  reckless.”


	204. Gluttony pt. 13: drinking chocolate

“So this is ‘drinking chocolate’? Brother, I do believe you are drooling a bit.”

“I am doing no such thing. Now shut up and help me with this spoon.”


	205. Holidays: 'tis the season

“Look, brother, even these admittedly strange creatures are in a celebratory mood.”

“Yes, and they all look nearly as foolish as you do, so if that is your argument for convincing me to wear a silly hat, you’ve failed.”

“Then perhaps you should wear it because these decorations are festive and colorful, and you are far too young to be curmudgeonly about holidays.”

“By Midgardian standards, we are both positively ancient, and I reserve the right to be as curmudgeonly as I please.”


	206. Holidays: does a bear...well, you know

“This is meant to be a mildly comical version of a Midgardian latrine, yes?”

“I…believe so.”

“And it has been created as a decoration for this holiday, for Midgardians to hang on their Christmas trees and stare at every day.”

“So it would seem.”

“How _very_ dignified.”

“Geez, you two wanna let a guy do his business in peace?”


	207. Holidays: varying degrees of festivity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you celebrate, I hope you have a merry Christmas; if not, have a good weekend and enjoy these dummies.

“What do you think, brother?”

“I think you look ridiculous, but at least you look ridiculous in a seasonally appropriate fashion this time, so I suppose that counts as a slight improvement.”


	208. The Squishy Avenger

“I sincerely hope this is not, in fact, a life-like representation of the good Captain, or I will begin to harbor serious doubts about your merry band’s validity as superheroes. Or, for that matter, vertebrates.”

“You have met Steve. You know he barely resembles these squishy…things.”

“Yes, but it is much more entertaining to speculate.”


	209. Gonna get political for a hot second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...because I'm American and it's basically all I can think about anymore, which means it's bleeding into everything, so yay for that haha we're all doomed, anyway if you're avoiding anything even remotely political feel free to skip this one

(Filed under “dealing with things kinda flippantly so you don’t cry/scream,” tbh)

“Yeah, I know, we should’ve let you rule us when we had the chance.”

“I said nothing.”

“You’re good at saying nothing REALLY loudly.”

“You must admit, I am vastly more qualified than this band of incompetents–-not to mention considerably more dignified. And at least I recognize that you humans are destroying your own planet.”

“There is definitely that, yeah.”

“…you have a worse sad-puppy face than Thor. Do not despair, Captain; no regime can last forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Steve Rogers is nobody's conservative puppet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7073728)


	210. The Tsum Titan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated to this specific picture: I forgot to link it before, but [Lacrimula_Falsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/pseuds/Lacrimula_Falsa) did [a great New Year photo for me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9147514) that made me feel better about not coming up with one of my own this year. Go check it out!

“They did it. They actually—Norns. Midgard took the Mad Titan and made him look not only unthreatening but actually, genuinely silly. I—ah, Norns, I have no idea how to think or feel about this.”

“…brother, are you all right?”

“Never better. And I might even mean that sincerely.”


	211. Gluttony pt. 14: TGI Friday's Brownie Obsession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the mistake of getting dessert at TGI Friday recently and it was delicious but also I almost exploded, so I decided somebody needed to suffer with me.

“…worth it.”

“I am amazed you can even move enough to speak, after all that.”

“You love chocolate, why are you not suffering with me?”

“Perhaps you have not noticed, but I tend to have marginally better self-control than you do.”

“Marginally.”

“Yes, well, I am also capable of self-awareness now and then.”


	212. the legend of yelling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably only funny if you've played any Zelda games, tbh.

“Hyuh? Hyaaaa!”

“Oh, Norns. Thor, I’ve found someone even less articulate in battle than you.”

“Really? Curious, when his battle cries sound rather more like yours.”


	213. In which Loki is actually a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring in-progress [custom Lokitty](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/23517114), who only needs horns to be finished (he started life looking like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Schleich-Cat-Sitting-Toy-Figure/dp/B00PESXE3S)).

“Where did—oh. Practicing shapeshifting, brother?”

“It is not ‘practice’ if one is already a master of the art. And as much as I hate to ask, how did you guess it was me?”

“Well, when you are a cat, you still look…a great deal like yourself.”

“Is that so.”

“And given that you did not seem to be otherwise nearby, I supposed that you would not be around to mock me if I guessed incorrectly.”


	214. Mightier than two-ply

“Oh, well, done, the humans admire you so much they have created a way to wipe their noses on your image.”

“I hope you are not asking me to explain—”

“Not in the slightest. An explanation would only ruin it. Honestly, did I ever say I hated Midgard? I lied. I love Midgard.”

“Well, brother, it is good to see you smile, even when it is at my expense.”

“…you take the fun out of everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell Thor, but the picture is just on the wrapper, not on the actual tissues (sadly, they're plain).


	215. listen. all cymbal monkeys are evil.

“If I understand my Midgardian lore correctly, and I believe I do, any toy of this type is highly likely to be haunted or possessed, correct?”

“…possibly?”

“Then WHY would anyone deliberately purchase one and invite it into their home?”

“I know for a fact you have bought at least three different trinkets on three different realms purely because the vendor claimed they were haunted.”

“Yes, but those fell under professional curiosity.”


	216. Mighty tasty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April 28 is National Superhero Day, so...I had to post something.

“Really, brother? REALLY?”

“If you think I created this—”

“Well, no; if you wanted to make Mjolnir out of food, I rather think you would use nothing but meat.”

“Hm, that is not a bad idea.”

“And a messy one. I think I prefer this odd mortal snack, as figuratively tasteless as its decoration might be.”

(haha so remember literally years ago when Age of Ultron came out and I fixated on finding a box of promo Cheez-Its so I could get a picture with the Mjolnir one? yes it really did take me this long to figure out a caption of some kind and tbh I don’t know that it was worth the wait but what can you do)


	217. Loki would also like a standard tribble

“No, I do not understand why humans would put eyes on a ball of fur. Please do not ask me.”

“Actually, if you are finished making assumptions, I was going to say I want one.”

“…do you really, or are you just being deliberately contrary?”

“Have you ever known me to have only one motivation for any given action?”


	218. I don't even know what to call that expression

“Honestly, Thor, why didn’t you tell me sooner that the mortals have created not one but _multiple_  representations of the Mad Titan that can only be described as ridiculously silly? Truly, this goes far beyond simply finding mortals entertaining at times.”

“The audacity and humor of mortals can indeed be heartening.”

“Oh, you needn’t look so smug, it’s not as if I’m declaring everlasting love for Midgard.”

“No smugness, brother. I am simply pleased for you.”

“You are, as ever, a terrible liar.”

“Very well, perhaps I am a little smug to see you warming up to Midgardian creations. But I _am_  pleased for you.”


	219. With great power comes great stickiness

“So…”

“The good Captain does not typically possess the ability to crawl on walls, correct?”

“Not like this, certainly.”

“I suppose in the context of a nearly infinite multiverse in which anything that can happen has happened, somewhere there might exist a Captain America who was also bitten by a radioactive spider and developed thematically appropriate powers—”

“What would he call himself? Spider Captain? American Spider?”

“—but I sincerely hope he would not look like this.”


	220. Happy Pride

To finish out Pride Month, here’s [something else Thor now takes very seriously](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/8944468) because he wants to support his baby brother (who is canonically bi and genderfluid in comics, and although he hasn’t been revealed as either in the MCU, there’s also nothing to say he definitively isn’t).


	221. In which I have more feelings about Loki encountering silly figures of Thanos

“He is—Thor. Thor, look, his head bobbles. The Titan is a bobblehead. A _tiny_ bobblehead.”

“Indeed he is, brother.”

“Oh, go ahead and laugh, there’s nothing you can do to ruin this.”

“I would not wish to.”


	222. Gluttony pt. 14: National Ice Cream Day

“You are _not_  eating all of that.”

“Of course not. We shall share it.”

“…fine.”


	223. Date night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it rarely occurs to me to mention this, but [I'm also on Tumblr](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com); these pictures go up there first.

“Loki, you know I do not dance.”

“Neither do I, but I am confident that together we can manage something that will not look too terribly foolish.”


	224. Talkeetna: you're a little late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I visited Talkeetna a couple weekends ago and stayed in an even nicer cabin than usual (although it also had a mildly terrifying [incinerator toilet](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/163987818812/okay-so-everyone-hungarianlanterns-and)), so naturally the boys did a little exploring too.

“Come, brother, perhaps in this cave—”

“One, that is not a cave, and two, now that you have dragged me all the way out here to the middle of nowhere, I might actually be able to help if you would just tell me what manner of creature you are hunting.”

“Mammoths, of course! Did I not say? I am sure I read that they roam this land.”

“Mammoths are extinct, you dunce, and you are walking home.”

“If you stay, I will buy you ice cream in town. And good chocolate.”

“…I will consider it.”


	225. Alaska: at least it's probably consensual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently came back from a week-long trip to Ireland, where I found...not as many photo opportunities for my boys as I'd hoped to, but I do have a few, at least some of which haven't even been posted on [Tumblr](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com)/Instagram yet (a long with a _whole bunch_ of other photos of Ireland's scenery, because I have a hard time choosing what to post). This one is from that trip, but I took it at my home airport before I even got to my gate; it's a little diorama on loan from the nearby [aviation museum](http://www.alaskaairmuseum.org/). (My only excuse for the title otherwise is that the joke was _right there_ and also I couldn't think of anything else.)

“‘Safe and sane flying’?”

“Well…as mortals consider it, perhaps.”

“Thor, I have BEEN insane. I know what sanity looks like, and that rickety craft does not even come close.”

#Loki means this quite literally


	226. Ireland: scary souvenirs before you even leave the airport

“I…hm.”

“I would say I don’t want to ask, but actually these bear rather a resemblance to Volstagg, don’t you think?”

“Oh, be fair.”

“You’re right, he has been known a time or two to open his mouth even wider than that when his favorite delicacies are involved.”


	227. Ireland: not lethally fluffy though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly posting various Ireland photos (among other things) on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/ladymoriel/), by the way, so if you're at all interested in that, feel free to follow me there!

“Midgardian souvenirs are extremely strange.”

“Yes, but this one is also extremely fluffy, which makes up for it a bit.”


	228. Ireland: at least it's useful for somebody

“I like this one! It has a good heft to it, particularly compared to the other odd souvenirs.“

“That is a replica shillelagh, an Irish cudgel presumably used rather like a wooden Mjolnir for indiscriminate smashing, so yes, I imagine you do.”


	229. Ireland: Loki no

“Now THIS is a souvenir. Or it would be if I could get the book itself.”

“…you mean the actual Book of Kells that the humans consider a priceless historical artifact and display under glass in a museum?”

“All my best souvenirs are priceless historical artifacts, Thor. I don’t see why you should sound so scandalized.”


	230. Ireland: nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Encountered these in the Dublin airport on my way home.

“Let’s just…leave, shall we?”

“For once, I am entirely in agreement with you. I cannot imagine enjoying any surprise these…beings…might offer.”


	231. Germany: pint-size disappointments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ended up with an overnight layover in Frankfurt, Germany, on the way back home and even though I wasn't able to go any further than a hotel physically attached to the airport, I figured I'd grab a couple souvenirs. So...

“Well, I suppose the Frankfurt airport did not produce terrible souvenirs…”

“Except this mug is sadly empty.”

“And this is a book of postcards, containing not a single word. I take back the overly charitable assumption.”


	232. Ireland trip: the very long way home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got very lucky on the flight home and had the whole row to myself, so obviously I had to take advantage of that.

“Explain to me again why you insisted we take the long way home by spending 9 hours in a glorified metal can with wings.”

“I thought…for a more authentic Midgardian experience…”

“Unless I have been severely misinformed, I am quite sure Midgardians do not travel like this, and they CERTAINLY do not travel _inside_ backpacks.”

“…I believe their pets sometimes do.”

“Hilarious. No.”

“Well, you cannot deny the view is good.”


	233. Gluttony pt. 15: International Coffee Day

“It certainly isn’t bad, brother, but it’s still a little too sweet for my preferences.”

“Fine, then move so someone who actually appreciates a good mocha can enjoy this.”

“I never said I didn’t want to help you with it.”

“I neither need nor want your help. Go find your own dull, bitter black coffee.”

“Loki–-”

“Oh very well, you may have a little.”


	234. Frankly I don't get it either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture of [the giant, mildly terrifying Kinder Surprise figures at the Dublin airport](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204995/chapters/27603837) prompted a [discussion](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/127322022) about Kinder Surprise eggs. I thought maybe they were legal in the US after all, because I'd seen them (or rather, thought I had) in my grocery store's candy aisle, so I figured I'd buy one for ~research~. First discovery: what's available in my grocery store, at least, is not actually Kinder Surprise but "milk chocolate & surprise" by some company called Galerie. Second--well, see below. Apparently [Choco Treasure](http://chocotreasure.com/)\--which isn't at my store--is the only company in the US allowed to put the toy inside the egg; I have no idea why.

“So let me see if I have this straight. In some parts of Midgard, hollow chocolate eggs like this are sold with some kind of toy inside, but in this part of Midgard, such an arrangement is quite literally against the law, and so the two items are packaged separately.”

“It would seem so.”

“But the chocolate egg is still hollow and large enough to fit the toy capsule that is not, in fact, inside it.”

“Yes…”

“And the toy in this particular instance is a tiny bust of the Widow who rather looks as if her mouth has melted.”

“Honestly, Loki, I don’t know why you expect me to have explanations for this sort of thing.”

“I don’t, actually, but watching you try to come up with them is entertaining at times.”


	235. Halloween: you know, the traditional Halloween scuba-diving gnome

“Yes, this makes every possible kind of sense.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, the boys were my only contribution to this little display; otherwise, that's exactly how I found it. My guess is a JoAnn employee was trying to be creative in advertising leftover summer miniatures with the new Halloween ones.


	236. Halloween: it's a good cat, Thor

“You are always telling me to be more cautious, and now you are going to approach…that?”

“It’s a cat–-large and undead, yes, but a cat nonetheless, and it stands guard over books of magic, which indicates excellent priorities. Yes, of course I am going to approach it.”


	237. Halloween: bad memories

“What’s wrong, brother?”

“Astonishingly enough, I am not wildly thrilled by the idea of spending any more time around something that looks so much like the Lady Death.”

“Of course. I’m sorry, I should have realized.”

“…that is not your fault. But…thank you.”


	238. Halloween: creepy career day

“Considering a new career, brother?”

“You think you’re joking, but if ‘Creepy Crawlies Pet Sitting’ were slightly larger and not merely a decoration, I actually might.”


	239. Halloween: #wtf

“Hashtag same, honestly.”

“I don’t know whether to be disturbed by what you just said or flabbergasted that you willingly used the type of human slang you typically disdain.”

“If it makes your decision any easier, I have no interest in cooperating with either topic of conversation.”


	240. Ragnarok: happy Thorsday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/ladymoriel) and [Tumblr](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com) yesterday, i.e. actually on Thursday/Thorsday/opening night, and then I was away from my computer most of the evening and forgot to repost it here, oops. Anyway I'm seeing Ragnarok tonight; hope I like it! I'm also wearing [the shirt in the picture](https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/1688106-asgardian-siblings?store_id=125009), for obvious reasons.

“Well, that is certainly…”

“Adorable?”

“I was going to say disgusting.”

“Disgustingly adorable.”

“…fair enough.”


	241. Ragnarok: definitely not that emoji movie

“I am sure you don’t care for these little pictures, Loki, but I quite like them.”

“They are certainly…distinctive.”

“I am rather fond of the fact that this version of you looks as cheerful as mine does. It’s refreshing.”

“Oh, come now, I am not Banner; I am not _always_  angry. Perhaps…75% of the time.”

“Really.”

“Oh, very well, 85%.”

“That sounds a bit more accurate. I also quite like how you’re the only one on the poster who’s waving at the viewer.”

“Of course you do.”

* * *

Bonus: look who I finally got yesterday :D

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I saw Ragnarok and [liked it](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/167114227922/some-general-off-the-top-of-my-head-thoughts-about), although a number of things bugged me the more I thought about them, and I wrote [a short fic that made me feel better](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636687), and then [I saw it again and liked it a lot more the second time](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/167187964612/my-dad-wanted-to-see-ragnarok-and-i-was-happy-to), and ever since I've just kind of been [overflowing with feelings](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/post/167246355437/major-spoilers-for-thor-ragnarok-and-i-cant-use). Also [I've been reblogging _a lot_ of Ragnarok stuff on Tumblr](http://thelightofthingshopedfor.tumblr.com/tagged/thor%3A+ragnarok), including a million fanart versions of The Hug That Definitely Absolutely Happened And No One Can Convince Me Otherwise.


	242. Thanksgiving: the reason for the season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are cookies & cream M&Ms, apparently? I don't know, they were good.

“On this day of giving thanks, you’re grateful for the humans’ innovations with chocolate, aren’t you, Loki?”

“…not when any of them are around to hear me say it.”


	243. Thanksgiving: of course Steve can cook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing [12" Marvel Legends Captain America](https://www.amazon.com/Marvel-Legends-12-inch-Captain-America/dp/B01BH91UKQ), who is 1) more comics than film and 2) obviously not as nice as Hot Toys Loki and Thor, but he's not bad. Also a _lot_ cheaper, obviously. I hope Marvel makes more for this particular line, because so far there's not a lot.

“I would be thankful for leftovers…if we all had some.”

“Not my fault neither of you bothered learning how to cook. I was generous enough earlier, I think I get to be a little selfish with the last slice of pie that _I made_.”


	244. Christmas: Santa fhtagn

“This is supposed to be one of Midgard’s Christmas figures, yes?”

“Loki, I know you are not actually ignorant about the most common Midgardian customs, and certainly not that one.”

“Answer the question.”

“Yes, of course that is supposed to be Santa Claus.”

“It looks, to me, more like a very different Midgardian figure. I’ll give you a hint—he probably also sees you when you’re sleeping and when you’re awake. Also he’s dead and dreaming and he lives in R’lyeh.”

"That's...not..."

"I know it's supposed to be a beard. That is not a beard. That is 100% tentacles."


	245. Christmas: we deserve a Brodinsons road trip in canon

“What do you think, brother, do we have time for a holiday road trip?”

“For the sake of the inevitable consequences to family unity if we stayed in such close quarters for longer than a few minutes, it’s probably just as well that this is not, in fact, a functional vehicle. The door doesn’t even open, in case you failed to notice.”

“You don’t think it would be a least a little bit fun?”

“…maybe a tiny bit, as long as you didn’t snore.”


	246. Christmas: this Santa might also be a cosmic horror

“This close to Christmas, and Santa’s workshop is entirely empty? That does not seem like a particularly good sign, especially if one were to take it as a general representation of Midgardian sloppiness.”

“Perhaps it just looks empty to you because the gifts only appear to good children.”

“Entirely possible. What does it say about you, then, that it looks empty to you as well?”


	247. Christmas: stumbling through the snow

“Please tell me you did not cut this driver off at his feet so you could drive his car.”

“The driver was a snowman, first of all, so any amputation is hardly a serious concern, and second, that would be pointless, because this isn’t even a functional car.”

“That…does not actually answer my question.”

“Well, it was a silly question.”


	248. Christmas: still not very merry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas if you celebrate; if not, have a good Monday!

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s festive.”

“It’s ridiculous.”

“The colors are seasonally appropriate—”

“By complete coincidence, which also applies to the clothes I am already wearing. If you would like to look ridiculous in an enormous bow with my helmet on it, however, be my guest. If you simply wanted to make me look ridiculous, I’m afraid you’ll have to try harder.”

* * *

Bonus: my cat was being Very Helpful while I was trying to take the previous picture and rubbing the tray they were standing on (his general strategy for anything is to be an unavoidable nuisance until you give up and feed him just to make him go away), which resulted in…this. Loki’s hand kiiiiind of looks like it’s turning into tentacles.

 


	249. I have an army

I meant to post this a bit earlier, but: it's probably _very obvious_ by now that I have a frankly ridiculous number of Loki figures, so naturally I wanted to get a picture of all of them. Over the New Year weekend, I finally brought home all the Lokis (and accompanying Thors) that live at my office, which is most of them but not all of them, and painstakingly set them all up with the Lokis and Thors that live at home.

  

  

The picture quality is less than ideal but I wanted to share my full army (so far) because, I mean, look at it.

(the sad thing is that this photoshoot, improbably, had a couple casualties: [Lokitty](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/23517114) fell and the horns came off, and the helmet wings also came off the Thor string doll, and neither of these things would have been a big deal because I could just glue them back on

except

I wanted to do other things first so I left Lokitty, String Doll Thor, and their missing pieces sitting out on a tray table in the living room for a few days

aaaaaaand the cat knocked them off and disappeared them

so now I have Lokitty but not his horns, and String Doll Thor’s helmet wings but not String Doll Thor, and I have spent a not-insignificant amount of time crawling around the living room with a flashlight but I haven’t found anything

actually yesterday I did find String Doll Thor but I still haven't found Lokitty's horns and it's very sad)

* * *

In case anyone is curious, below is all my Loki figures without the Thors, with a few exceptions that were physically attached or turned out to be integral to the horrible little Jenga-tower situation I created for myself. I keep losing track but I think there are about 45 Lokis, of which only 8 were gifts (and 4 were figures I customized myself, including [Lokitty](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4499427/chapters/23517114) who isn't in the Loki-only picture because I took that after his horns broke off, sigh). I bought all the rest because I have problems. 

Anyway, I meant to post these closer to the actual New Year (I did at least post [an appropriately seasonal post-Ragnarok fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13228914)), but my little army and I hope you all had a good holiday season, and we want to wish everyone a 2018 full of only the best kinds of chaos and mischief.


	250. Action figures for great justice

A latergram of sorts related to the Women’s March 2018 this weekend, because of course my kids are invested in supporting equality:

“That’s your sign for the march?“

“Thor made me censor it.”

“All I did was point out that there would be children present.”

“…yes, well. I imagine the good Captain disapproves of even censored vulgarity.”

“Oh, come on. There’s a time and a place, and this is both. You really think I mind a little swearing when we’re trying to stand up to the same kind of people I was fighting when I got turned into a Capsicle?”

“I could un-censor it.”

“Okay, see, there _are_ kids here, though.”

* * *

 

Better shots of everyone else: 

      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's sign is partly inspired by [this wonderful, wonderful fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12942291) (which was itself inspired by [this awesome fanart](http://portraitoftheoddity.tumblr.com/post/168276319169/hes-here-get-used-to-it-for-gaslightgallows)). I also picked up some Star Wars: Forces of Destiny figures recently because those three were on clearance $5 each at Walmart, if anyone else wants them too; for relatively cheap figures designed more for playing than collecting, they're really nice and detailed.


	251. Properly introducing...

(...my newest Hot Toys figure, Wanda Maximoff aka Scarlet Witch)

“…well.”

“Indeed.”

“I have no words.”

“I have several, though I am not sure you would wish to hear them. I could of course mock yours, but I am honestly not sure which is worse.”

“You guys saw Steve’s, right? I’m pretty sure he wins this one.”


	252. Emerald City Comic Con: Steve is no fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go to Emerald City Comic Con this year, so obviously the boys came with.

“You know, Asgardian methods of traveling long distances almost never require lost sleep, hours of preparation and travel time, or massive amounts of caffeine.”

“Yeah, and…?”

“And, clearly, Midgardian transportation methods are inferior.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a point literally nobody is arguing.”


	253. ECCC: Steve is still no fun

“Not just inferior but _appallingly_ primitive.”

“Yeah, again, no one is arguing with that.”


	254. ECCC: and yet there's way less art and merch of Loki

  


“No snide comments about the teeming masses of humanity?”   


“I’ve seen multiple people dressed as multiple versions of me, so no, I would say at least a few members of this crowd have good taste.”   


“And several dressed as me.”   


“I never said they _all_  have good taste.” 


	255. ECCC: Sleiporgi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was nowhere near enough Loki art or merch at ECCC to satisfy me (in fairness, "enough Loki art/merch to satisfy me" might be an impossible standard to reach, not to mention very dangerous for my wallet...but on the other hand, there really wasn't much, and there was a _lot_ of Marvel art in general, and specifically quite a bit of MCU art featuring Basically Everyone Except Loki, and a lot of artists who responded to my sad questions with "I don't have any Loki, but I really should draw him" YES, YOU SHOULD), but I did find a few really great pieces. This was the first one, and actually the only time my sad question resulted in the artist digging around and finding one.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“It’s cute.”

“I SAID I don’t want to hear it.”


End file.
